


Concrete Jungle

by WolfgangRythem



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 05:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 42,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8831824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfgangRythem/pseuds/WolfgangRythem
Summary: Alex is a transfer student to Portland High who crosses paths with the resident school freak. Will she succumb to the pressure of her peers or will Tobin Heath change the way she views the world without uttering a single word?





	1. Mental Case

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooooooo this is that story I've been working on guys. SURPRISE!!!! ProMerica1776 convinced me that a little teaser chapter would be a nice Christmas gift! Tell me what you guys think, I have a ton written but don't want to post for a little while. I just want to see how you guys react to it so please give me some feedback. Some of you might be hesitant in the beginning, but please bare with me because I think that this is going to be my best story. BY FAR! And that's saying a lot because I currently love Imagine You and Me and its hard to replace my baby, A Place to Call Home. Get ready guys because this story is going to be a whirlwind of emotions!! Agh! So pumped!!

“Senior year baby!!” Brian yells as soon as we walk through the front doors of Portland High.

 

I look to my right and smile at my boyfriend’s excitement for our last first day of high school ever. I think back to the first day I had come to this school when I had transferred my junior year, and marvel at how fast the time had passed by.

 

“It feels like just yesterday that it was my first day here.” I say, vocalizing my thoughts.

 

“And wandering around here clueless until some hunk of a lacrosse player found you and helped you out.” Brian teases me and I slap his letterman jacket covered shoulder. He grabs my hand, and we walk down the halls, catching up with our friends that we hadn’t seen over the summer.

 

I roll my eyes as Brian puts on his tough guy act in front of his lacrosse teammates and knocks a freshmen’s book out of his hands. Towards the end of last year it had gotten worse, even though I had asked him to cut it out. He had only responded saying that freshmen needed to be put in their place. I never understand why he acts like an ass when in public; because he never acts like this when we were by ourselves. I’m almost to my locker when Brian stops suddenly and stares down the hall, eyes wide.

 

“No fucking way. Yo Joe.” He says grabbing his friend near him and pointing down the hall. Joe turns around lazily but his eyes go as wide as Brian’s when he looks down the hall. I follow their gazes, looking down the hall, but don’t see anything out of the ordinary.

 

“What what what??” I question looking at their shocked faces and back down the hallway.

 

“Dude I thought she was at a crazy house. Why is she back?” Brian says to Joe, not taking his eyes off something down the hallway.

 

“I swear to god Brian if you don’t tell me what you’re looking at I-“

 

“Ok babe. You see that girl down the hall.” Brian says.

 

“Brian, there are 50 girls down the hall.” I huff out.

 

“Ok the girl in the black shirt and the snapback.” He points out and my eyes search the crowd until they land on the girl.

 

My eyes glance over her and my eyebrows scrunch in confusion. The girl looks completely normal.

 

“Brian what are you talking about? She looks normal.” I say turning back to him.

 

“That’s Tobin fucking Heath. Ok so sophomore year, this guy went into her house and attacked her. Apparently he held her down and started to make cuts all over her body. He was cutting her throat when her brother and Servando, that guy” He interrupts his story and points down the hall to a guy standing next to the girl. “walked in. Her brother, Jeff, tackled him and Tobin grab the knife and stabbed the gu-“

 

“Wait I heard that Tobin stabbed Jeff and that’s why he died.” Joe chimes in.

 

“Well I don’t know this is just what I heard from Kent.”

 

“Welllll Tommy, whose older brother is a cop, told me that Tobin found out that her brother and Servando were together and that she was like in love with Servando and got angry and used the opportunity to hurt her brother. She just didn’t mean to kill him.” Joe says with a shrug of his shoulders.

 

“I don’t know mannnn, but if Tommy said his older brother said that’s how it went down, it must be true. So anyways, Servando ran over to help Tobin because she’s bleeding out from all of the cuts on her body, and the guy gets away. It was either Servando chase the guy down, or Tobin die from bleeding out. The police came and all that stuff-“

 

“Tommy said that Mike, his older brother, said there was blood everywhere. The police said that they had no idea how anyone could survive from that much blood loss.”

 

“Oh my god.” I whisper with my hand over my mouth.

 

“And so they find out in the hospital that since the guy cut Tobin’s neck right where her voice box is, she can’t speak anymore.”

 

“She’s mute?” I ask and glance back to Tobin who I see is sticking a small notebook in the back pocket of her jeans.

 

“Yep. Only thing she can do is whistle. But she came back to school after like 2 weeks and didn’t talk, or well write, to anyone but Servando. And then she started having seizures all the time and teachers would find her huddled into a corner when we had thunderstorms, so her parents sent her to a crazy house and I guess she’s back now.” Brian informs me.

 

“She’s a total freak. Even before the whole mute thing she was weird as fuck. There’s a reason only Servando talks to the chick. ” Joe says nodding his head.

 

I turn around to look at the girl, Tobin, but she had already begun shuffling down the hallway. I watch as everyone moves out of her way, like the parting of the Red Sea, whispering and pointing to one another as she passes. My attention is broken from the departing girl’s presence when Brian grabs my hand, leading me to our first class of the day.

 

I walk into calculus class a little late, and the only seats that are left are a few in the back. I hurried to the back of the room, giving an apologetic face to the teacher who is looking at me exasperatedly. I slide into the desk and take out my notebook when I hear my neighbor’s pencil drop and roll underneath my desk. I pick it up and look up to hand it to my neighbor when my movements freeze. Sitting next to me with her hand slightly stretched out is Tobin Heath.

 

She glances at me, and when she sees that I’m staring at her, she sighs and closes the distance between our hands, gently reclaiming her pencil. I continue to ogle at her and she lowers her head, focusing on writing something in her notebook.

 

My eyes travel over her, and I marvel at the amount of thin long scars that are on her arms alone. My focus moves up to her neck where I see the scar that stole away her ability to speak. I take in her light brown hair underneath her black snapback, her tan skin and her seemingly fit form, and think how pretty she would be without the numerous amount of scars that litter her skin.

 

“Alright class we’re going to be taking a pre-class test to see where everyone is at.” The teacher states and everyone complains. “I know I know, but it’s required so just take it and try your best please. As a little incentive, if someone gets a 100, then I’ll add 10 points to everyone’s first test!” He says before handing out the test.

 

A few pages in, the problems begin to look like hieroglyphics. I look around me, wondering if anyone else understood the last pages and see that the rest of my classmates are also staring down at their test clueless as to how to solve the problems. I hear the familiar sound of pencil scratching against paper, and look to my right to see Tobin quickly moving through the last pages of the test. Her eyes move over the paper, before setting down her pencil quietly, and reclining further into her chair, slowly raising her hand into the air.

 

Our teacher, Mr. Smith, comes by to pick up Tobin’s test, and I turn mine in as well, knowing I would not be answering any more problems. Mr. Smith scans over the test in the front of the room, and his head pops up in surprise as he looks at Tobin whose head is now bowed.

 

“Alright. Well someone has scored a 100 so as I promised, everyone will receive 10 bonus points on the first test.” Mr. Smith said after picking up all the test and the class cheers.

 

“Who was it teach?”

 

“Yeah who the heck got a 100 on that?”

 

“Sorry, I’m not saying.” Mr. Smith says with his hands raised in the air.

 

 

The class badgers Mr. Smith with questions, wanting to know who scored a perfect. With each question, out of the corner of my eye, I see Tobin slip further and further into her desk.

 

Tobin Heath disappears from my mind for the rest of the week. I learn that we also have Art 301 together, but she has mastered the art of seeming to be invisible and sits in the back corner of the room. I didn’t even notice her presents the rest of the week, and neither did my classmates.

 

\----

 

Saturday afternoon I find myself being dragged to the country club with Brian. He was golfing with his friend Tommy and wanted me to drive the golf cart with him. His reasoning is that Tommy’s girlfriend was coming too, but I roll my eyes at the thought of having to spend minutes, much less hours, with his obnoxious girlfriend. He eventually convinces me to tag along, when he says that he’ll take me out on a romantic dinner later that night.

 

By hole number 9, I want to shove a golf ball down Edith’s, Tommy’s girlfriend, throat. When Brian would sit in the golf cart after taking his shot, I would immediately speed off, hoping to drown out Edith’s annoying voice. We pull up to the tee box, and I see an employee fixing one the immaculate flowerbeds that are scattered throughout the course. When she stands up, I’m surprised to see Tobin Heath wiping the sweat off of her brow. I see Brian recognize Tobin, and his eyes go wide before he smiles and looks over to Tommy, cocking his head towards her.

 

“Hey Heath.” Brian calls out and I watch as Tobin whips around, and her face becomes impassive when she sees Brian and Tommy leaning up against their golf clubs. She makes her way over to us, her eyes briefly meeting mine before pulling out an extremely worn notebook.

 

_Yes?_ She shows us.

 

“We’d like 4 freshly squeezed lemonades, and make one of those pink.” Brian says down to her.

 

I watch as Tobin looks back over her shoulder at the flowerbed she was working on, hesitating for a minute, before sighing and nodding her head. She begins to walk away when Brian calls out to her.

 

“Oh and Heath, wash your filthy hands. I don’t want the glass dirtied up by it.” Tobin looks at her hands, noting the dirt under her fingernails, before nodding her head and driving off in her golf cart. I watch her drive away and jump slightly when Brian taps me, signaling for me to move forward.

 

We are at hole number 11 when I see Tobin pulling up, concentrating on carefully balancing 3 regular lemonades and one pink lemonade. She makes her way over to me first, handing me the pink lemonade, and my eyebrows rise in surprise.

 

“How did you know that I was the one that wanted the pink lemonade?” I ask her and she holds up a finger before handing out the other lemonades.

 

She places the tray on the empty seat next to me on the golf cart and pulls out the notebook and a pencil.

 

_You’ve had a pink lemonade with you every day in Art after lunch._ She writes and shrugs her shoulders and I look at her in wonder. No one had ever paid that much attention to me before to notice what type of drink I like after just a week, much less without even talking or hanging out.

 

“Are you stalking my girlfriend?” Brian demands to know, suddenly at my side. Tobin’s eyes go wide and she shakes her head furiously as she looks between the Brian and I.

 

“Get the fuck out of here, and you’re even crazier then I thought if you think I’m tipping you.” He says to her, brandishing his club in the air, and she twirls on her heels, scampering away with her head low to her golf cart.

 

“You didn’t have to be so mean Brian.” I say to him as I watch her drive away.

 

“What? I don’t want the resident freak paying that much attention to my girl.” Brian huffs out.

 

“Yeah she could like become obsessed with you and then like kill Brian. I mean she like killed her own brother when she found out he was dating the guy she liked.” Edith chimes in and it takes everything in my power not to roll my eyes.

 

“Mental case.” Tommy says shaking his head.

 

\-----

 

Brian is driving me back to my car that I parked at his house after we had finished eating at the country club hours later with Tommy and Edith in the car, when we see someone on their bike.

 

“That’s Tobin.” I say without realizing I had uttered it out loud.

 

“Really?” Brian asks and then proceeds to speed up. I look at him in confusion but he suddenly swerves within a foot next to Tobin while honking his horn, startling her and making her fall off her bike. I turn around in my seat as I watch Tobin roll off the road right into a fire hydrant.

 

“Nice Brian!” Tommy cheers on from the backseat, while Edith laughs. I whirl around and smack Brian hard in the shoulder.

 

“Shit Alex!”

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I shout at him.

 

“What it was just a joke! Look she’s fine! She’s standing up!” He yells, pointing into his mirror.

 

“Take me to my car right now.” I growl at him and he grumbles under his breath, making a sharp right.

 

As soon as we are in front of his house, I’m slamming his car door behind me and climbing into my own car, speeding off. I pull onto the main road, and scour the side of the streets for Tobin. I eventually find her walking her bike down the side of the road gingerly, and I pull over my car right behind her. At the sound of a car approaching, Tobin quickly looks over shoulder, and only slightly relaxes when she realizes that it wasn’t rushing by right next to her. However, she tenses up when she sees my car pull to her I get out of the car, and start walking towards her.

 

“Tobin hey are you ok?” I ask wincing at how stupid I sounded when its obvious that she isn’t. My eyes scan over her arms, which has blood dripping down them from the scrapes that cover one side of her arm, there is a huge cut on her leg that ripped her jeans and is staining her white sock red, her chin is scraped up, and one of her hands is placed on her side, making me think that she must have hit the ground or fire hydrant pretty hard.

 

She glances up at me and pulls out a notebook from her back pocket, grimacing as she did so, and flipping to a worn out page in the book before showing it to me.

 

_I’m fine._

 

“I’m really sorry for what Brian did. I don’t even know why he did it.” I say running my hands through my hair and she nods her head, still barely looking at me.

 

“Do you want a ride to the hospital?” I ask her and she flips the book to a fresh sheet. I flinch and feel terrible when I see her trying to write without getting blood all over the pages, but failing.

 

_No it’s ok, I’ve had worse before._ She shows me with a shrug of her shoulders and a sad smile on her face.

 

“Well please at least let me give you a ride home.” I motion to her bike, which I had just noticed had a now flat back tire. Tobin studies me, searching my face as if I offered a ride to her as a joke and then glances at her bike and swallows before looking back up at me and giving a very small nod. I smile and move to take her bike, loading it into the back of my jeep. I look up in confusion once I am already back in the car and Tobin still standing outside of it looking nervous.

_I don’t want to get blood on the inside of your nice car._ She flashes to me and motions to a couple of spots on her arm and legs that are still dripping blood.

 

“Oh don’t even worry about it!” I say to her and she hesitantly climbs into the car, her motions robotic. She holds her hands and arms close to her body, and I think she’s making sure no blood gets anywhere. My suspicions are confirmed when I do a quick glance over and see her discreetly trying to wipe a spot with her shirt on her arm that keeps bleeding. Feeling terrible that my boyfriend was responsible for her injuries, I decide to try and make up for it.

 

“Um are you hungry or thirsty? I know you at least must be thirsty after biking that far in this heat.” I say to her and watch as she shakes her head. I hear her writing something.

 

_I’m good, thank you though. You can just drop me off on the corner by Freds._ She writes and I once again cringe at the sight of blood smeared across the paper.

 

The rest of the ride is silent besides the radio playing a particularly poppy song that I can’t stand. I lean forward to change the radio station, putting on an alternative rock station and I swear I hear the smallest sigh of relief from Tobin. I pull up to the corner of Fred’s gas station and Tobin is opening the door before I even put the car in park. I see her struggle to get out of the car and close her eyes and bite her lip as she tries to straighten her body once on the pavement. My stomach drops when I see her hobbling to the back of my car to retrieve her busted bike. I hop out of the car and jog to the back to pull out her bike so she wouldn’t hurt herself further.

She pulls out the small notebook out of her back pocket and flashes something to me.

 

_Thank you for the ride, you didn’t have to do that._

_“_ I wasn’t going to let you walk when my ass of a boyfriend did that.” I say incredulously and she just shrugs her shoulders before writing something else down, tearing out the page, and handing it to me.

 

_You still didn’t have to do it. Thanks for being nice to me Alex, have a good weekend._

By the time I look up from reading her note, she’s already distanced herself from me, slowly walking with her broken bike down the side road. With a sigh, I climb back into my car and drive off, the thought of Tobin’s dejected face not leaving my mind for the rest of the day.

 

 

 


	2. Thank You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you guys were soooooo nice, I decided to slip you guys another one.

I arrive to class on Monday and see that Tobin is already in her desk. My eyes immediately drop to look at her arms and hands and see that she has a hoodie on even though it’s August and its 70 degrees outside. I sit down in my desk next to her and try to catch her eye silently, but I am unsuccessful as she is consumed in the book in front of her. I sigh and face the front of the class, waiting for the teacher to start the lecture.

 

Over the next week, Tobin slowly slips to the back of my mind. I only see her in the calculus and art class that we share, and glimpses of her down the hallways.

 

It’s Thursday of the second week of school and Mrs. Carter, the art teacher, had assigned Tobin and I to stay behind and clean up the room as she and the rest of the class went to go collect new supplies from the office. I let out a large sigh as I begin to pick up all the prisma colors. I look to my side and see T silently sweeping up pencil shavings.

 

“Have you had a good week?” I ask Tobin, trying to break the silence. Her head pops up in surprise that I am actually speak to her and she shrugs her shoulders after a moments pause. She motions to me and I know that she is asking me about my week.

 

“My week has been good. Soccer practice has been pretty hard so I’m really sore right now.” I chuckle out and I see a tiny smirk grace Tobin’s face.

 

Suddenly we hear a large bang and both our heads swivel towards the door and Tobin looks back at me with her eyebrows scrunched together. I begin to move towards the door, curious of what had caused such a loud noise. I’m about 10 feet from the door when it burst open and a guy comes in pointing a gun at me. He is in all black, is incredibly pale and skinny and is constantly licking his lips as he stares at me intensely. I instantly stop moving as I hear a scramble from behind me, and all of a sudden Tobin is standing in front of my frozen in fear form.

 

Tobin is shaking her head and waving her arms in a negative way as I continue to stare down the barrel of the gun.

 

“Move Tobin.” The guy in all black rasps out, trying to point the gun around Tobin at me.

 

I feel like my blood has turned to ice and my feet are glued to the floor. Tobin shakes her head again and slowly reaches into her back pocket, pulling out a notepad and pen. She hurriedly writes something down and flashes it towards the deranged boy.

 

“Yes I do Tobin! You know what it’s like! You know how they treat people like you and me! Like we’re the scum of the earth. Why should they get to bully us just because they’re the popular kids huh?!” He rages on, brandishing his gun at me.

 

“What do you mean this doesn’t have to be that kind of story? Speaking of stories, what’s yours? I’ve always wanted to know.” The guy asks after Tobin wrote something else down for him, tilting his head to the side. I see Tobin’s back straighten and her jaw lock as she shakes her head robotically. The guy continues to try and convince Tobin to tell him her story but Tobin refuses.

 

“Don’t you want to find and kill the guy that did that to you??” He asks Tobin over and over, each time getting more hysterical, waving his gun at her throat.

 

Tobin’s fist clenches tightly and she’s so stiff I was surprised she could even raise her arm to write.

 

After a few more minutes that are a blur of Tobin writing stuff down, the guy glances up at me and slowly backs out of the door. Tobin immediately shuts the door, locks it, and pushes the teacher’s desk in front of the door. As soon as she’s done that, she collapses to the floor against the desk, breathing heavily, curling herself into a ball.

 

My feet seem to come unglued and I make my way over to Tobin who seems to be having a panic attack as her whole body is shaking. When I kneel down next to her, she grabs my wrist while taking in deep breaths, before motioning to my phone and mouthing something. It takes several times of her doing it before I understand that she is mouthing 911.

 

I pull out my phone right as a gunshot goes off followed closely by another down the hall. With shaking hands, I call 911 and inform the operator what was occurring. During that time, several more shots go off, this time screams accompanying them. The shots seem to be getting closer again and Tobin opens her previously closed eyes and grabs my wrist before running into the supply closet on the other side of the room.

 

As soon as Tobin has pushed me into the corner, someone bangs against the door before bullets come flying through the locked door where we had just been sitting. I scream in absolute terror and tears are streaming down my face as I pick up my phone that had dropped out of my trembling hands and call my mom.

 

“Hey honey, why ar-“

 

“M-mom mom th-there is a shooter at school.” I manage to get out.

 

“What?! Alex where are you?! Are you safe?! Omg…” She pipes out, and I can hear her chocking up on the other end.

 

“I’m ok mom. I’m locked in the supply closet of the art room and we locked and barracked. I’m not alone I’m with Tobin. M-mom he he he held a gun up to me.” I tell her, breaking down at the last sentence. I hear my mom lose it on the other side of the phone, making me bite my lip, trying not to break down completely.

 

“But I’m ok mom, Tobin somehow convinced him to walk away and not do anything.” I inform her as I look to my right to see Tobin curled into a ball shaking uncontrollably.

 

“Mom I promise you I’m safe, there is no way he can get to me, I’m gonna hang up because Tobin is convulsing in front of me ok?? I love you mom, I’ll call you back as soon as I help her ok? As soon as I help her!”

 

“Omg….. Please stay safe Alexandra. God I love you so much honey, I’m running out the door right now. I’ll be at the school as quick as I can ok? Ok baby? Stay safe for me! I love you!” She says to me and I hang up to check on Tobin. I touch her arm and she jumps away from me looking at me with wild eyes before blinking several times.

 

“Breathe Tobin, breathe.” I say to her as I put a hand on each of her arms. After a few minutes, Tobin’s breathing has calmed down along with her shaking body. She’s staring into my eyes as I try to convey through my own eyes that we are going to be ok. Once I think Tobin has calmed down enough, I thank her.

 

“Tobin, thank you so much. I…I I don’t think I would be here right now without you.” I say to her as I get choked up thinking what would have happened if Tobin hadn’t been in the room.

 

_You’re welcome._ She writes to me using a spare marker and random sheet of paper.

 

“W-what did you say to him to make him leave?” I ask her and suddenly she becomes shy as she turns her attention to her scuffed up shoes.

 

_I said that you are secretly my girlfriend._ She shows me, blushing scarlet as she stares at the floor the whole time. I flush at the thought of her being my girlfriend but quickly recover.

 

“Well that was very smart to think of something like that on your feet.” I say to her and she just nods her head. A few minutes pass in silence as I think about the last 10 minutes.

 

“Why-What did he mean by people like you and him?” I ask and she looks up at me for the first time in the last 5 minutes.

 

_We’re known as the freaks._ She shows me with a straight face.

 

My eyebrows scrunch together and I open my mouth to object to her being a freak when there is a loud bang at the door. I instantly scream and Tobin scuttles over quickly, once again placing herself in front of me.

 

“Girls?! Girls its safe to come out now!” I hear Mrs. Carter’s voice muffled through the door.

 

Tobin and I both jump up and run to the door, moving the desk and unlocking the door. We come face to face with Mrs. Carter and several decked out officers in vest.

 

“Thank god you girls are ok.” She says to the pair of us, tears in her eyes.

 

“Ladies, I know this has been a strenuous hour, but would you please talk to us about what happened?” One of the police officers ask. I look over to Tobin who simply nods her head once.

 

“Great, thank you so much ladies.” The officer says as he begins to escort Tobin and I out. When we get to the end of the hallway, I’m surprised when the police officer leads me in a different direction then Tobin. I look over my shoulder to see Tobin looking back at me with slightly panicked eyes.

 

“Wait wait! Where is she being taken!?” I ask.

 

“They have a translator for her so the interview can be done fast so that all of you can be home quicker.” He informs me.

 

“Oh. I guess that makes sense.”

 

The interview takes about 20 minutes to go through. I identify the shooter, explain everything that occurred, and asked any questions that he had. When I walk out of the school, I see my mom hysterically arguing with a police officer, but stops the moment she sees me.

 

“Oh thank god! Baby.” She cries into my hair as she pulls me into a vice like hug.

 

“I’m ok.” I continually repeat into my moms t-shirt, tears of my own leaking out.

 

“Are you sure you’re ok??” She asks, pulling back to physically run her eyes over me so that she could check for herself.

 

“I’m ok mom, just shaken up.” I say to her as I begin to look around, wondering where Tobin could be.

 

“Ok, lets you get home honey.” She says to me wiping away her tears and mine and, wraps an arm around my shoulders as she leads me away from the school.

 

We drive our separate cars home and am about halfway there when I see Tobin walking along side of the road. I slow down immediately, pull out my phone to text my mom what I’m doing, and roll down the window to get Tobin’s attention.

 

“Hey!” I call out to Tobin who seems to be in her own world, causing her to jump and look around in surprise and slight terror, which calms the moment she sees me. Tobin climbs into the car without having to be told this time.

 

“Same place?” I ask and she nods her head, looking out the window.

 

I drop Tobin off at the corner of Fred’s gas station again and grab her arm before she can hop out.

 

“Why did you keep jumping in front of me and put yourself at risk?” I ask and she looks at me for a long moment before scribbling something down, tearing it out of the notebook, placing it in my lap, and promptly climbing out of the car.

_Because I don’t want someone to hurt like I did, and you were nice to me._

I stare out at her retreating form, gripping onto the thin piece of paper, absolutely stunned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know that this is fiction and you would never think this could happen to your school, but it happens all the time. It happened at my college last fall and was one of the most terrifying experiences I've been apart of. So yes it is added for drama, but it's also extremely realistic guys. Anyways, tell me what you guys think so far!


	3. Baja's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONLY because ProMerica1776 left a long comment that was REALLY nice to come back and read. Seriously guys tell me what you think so far, because if you don't like it I can change it up a bit.

 

As expected, we get a notification that class is canceled the next day. Brian came bursting through the door 10 minutes after I had gotten the notification, saying how everyone was talking about how I had had a gun pointed at me. He stayed until late that night, holding me tightly after I cried into his chest for what seemed like hours on end. I don’t leave the house for the whole weekend, although I feel like half of the school has come to check on me, my best friend Ali, being the first to come on Saturday morning.

 

“ALEX?!?!?!” I hear someone scream from downstairs and I lift my head off my pillow, drowsy from having been woken up so abruptly. I hear someone stomping up the stairs and then my door is thrown open to reveal a disheveled Ali.

 

“Did you fucking throw your phone across the Atlantic Ocean?!?!” She huffs out glaring at me.

 

“I’m sorry, did you try texting me? My phone died and I didn’t charge it until I went to bed.” I say running a hand through my messy hair and checking my phone to see a barrage of text and calls from Ali. I look up with an apologetic expression on my face to see her staring at me incredulously, hands out to the side.

 

“Sorrryyyyyy.” I say and Ali runs over, hopping onto the bed and tackling me. I chuckle as I hug her back.

 

“Ali you gotta get off of me.” I say after a few minutes of her squishing me. She pulls herself off of me, wiping away tears that I was unaware were there.

 

“Ali-“

 

“I know it’s ridiculous that I’m crying, I mean you’re right here in front of me, but everyone keeps telling me how that guy had a gun to your head. Do you know that John Marshall, Alecia Smith, Garrett Carter, and Ben Grey are dead? Just gone, just like that Al, what if that had been you?” She sniffs out, new tears making their way down her cheeks, and I grow somber as I think of how lucky I really was.

 

“It’s only because of Tobin.” I whisper out as I look at my sheets after a few moments of silence.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m only here right now because of Tobin Heath.” I repeat myself quietly.

 

“Tobin Heath? The mute girl?” Ali asks in surprise.

 

“Yeah. That guy came into the room pointing the gun at me, and she jumped in front of me and convinced him to walk away. Ali…she saved my life.” I say looking at my shaking hands.

 

“How did she convince him to do that? I mean she cant talk.” Ali asks reasonably.

 

“Um I don’t know I was kind of in shock, she just did.” I say not wanting to reveal the true reason he had been convinced to spare me.

 

“Wow. Well I’m beyond relieved that you are here alive and well.” She says rubbing her hands up and down my arms.

 

“How about we just lay in bed all day and watch movies?” She asks and I nod my head, thinking nothing else sounds better.

 

 

 

Throughout the day teammates, classmates, and friends come to check up on me, with Ali chasing them away after a little while. Towards the end of the weekend I can’t help but feel worse with every visitor that I receive, knowing that Tobin probably has had no one check up on her.

 

…..

 

Class is held on Monday and the hallways are filled with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. I personally did not know anyone that had been shot, but I mourn for the people that had. There are rumors going around the school of what exactly went down that day, where people were, what people saw, how many gunshots had been heard. With every story that I hear from my friends, I have to hold back a sigh as each one sounds more ludicrous then the next. The only people that know exactly what went down that dreadful day was Tobin and I, the only other witnesses to the scene dead.

 

Tobin became even more withdrawn then usual, keeping her head down in the hallways and class. Only once did I catch her looking at me, and the moment I made eye contact, she dropped her eyes.

 

I’m driving home from practice when I see Tobin skateboarding down the sidewalk. I pull the car over and Tobin turns around, slowing down when she sees me rolling my window down.

 

“Hop in.” I say to her and she hesitates before picking up her board and getting into my car.

 

It’s silent besides the sound of Tobin’s fingers drumming nervously on the top of her board.

 

“I wanted to thank you again. You know for last week.” I blurt out when the silent becomes too much, and Tobin turns to me with her eyebrows raised. She pulls a blue notebook out of her back pocket and begins writing.

 

_You already thanked me._

 

“Yeah well stepping in front of me when someone is aiming his gun at me deserves more then just one thank you.” I tell her and Tobin nods her head slowly.

 

She points the way for me to go and I’m dropping her off at the same corner for the third time.

 

“Hey Tobin.” I say to her before she climbs out of the car.

 

“Let me take you out to eat to thank you for everything.” I propose and she stares at me biting her lip, and I can tell she’s really thinking about it so I jump on the opportunity.

 

“C’mon, meet me at Pops at 7 tonight!” I plead and she looks at her watch before a small smile finds her face and she nods her head affirmatively.

 

“Great! I’ll see you then!” I clap my hands together excitedly and smile when I see Tobin’s closed lip smile widen a little bit.

 

A few hours later I find myself sitting in a booth at Pops facing the door with a milkshake in front of me. My head pops op from my phone every time I hear the bell ring, slightly disappointed when it wasn’t Tobin. A couple moments later, I look up and happily surprised to see Tobin walking in through the door slowly. I see her hand rise to nervously rub the back of her neck as she glances around the room in search of me. When her eyes finally land on me, she gets a small smile on her face and waves shyly at me.

 

I’m about to wave back when I suddenly see Brian shoulder past Tobin and sit next to me while his two lacrosse teammates slide into the booth across from me.

 

“Hey babe. Why are you here alone?” Brian asks me as he takes my milkshake and begins drinking it.

 

“Um I just I just wanted a milkshake.” I mumble out, flustered.

 

I watch as the already tiny smile slips off of Tobin’s face and her hand falls to her side. Her head drops to her shoes and she shuffles out the door. I watch her slouched shoulders walk away with a pit in my stomach before swallowing the lump of guilt in my throat and turning to Brian, plastering a smile on my face.

 

 

Later that week I’m making my way out of my teacher’s office, head planted in the book I was just given when I run into something.

 

“Oh my goodness I’m s- Tobin?” I stop when I see Tobin drop to her knees, trying to gather up her books and spilled papers as fast as she can while avoiding eye contact with me.

 

I put my hand on Tobin’s wrist to stop her and she instantly freezes.

 

“Hey, I’m really sorry for the other night. I wasn’t expecting that to happen.” I apologize to her and Tobin just nods her head while still looking down.

 

“I’d like to make it up to you. Let’s go to Baja’s tonight.” I say knowing that no one I know goes to Baja’s. Tobin continues to look down at her feet and I know she must be thinking that I’ll bail on her again.

 

“I promise I wont bail on you again.” I say to her. Tobin looks up at me and swallows before nodding her head slowly.

 

“Great! If you give me your address I ca-“ I begin to ask for address but Tobin shakers her head almost violently, pulling out her blue notebook.

 

_You can pick me up where you drop me off._

My eyebrows form a frown as I read her message, but I don’t want to push the subject, not wanting to pressure Tobin.

 

“Oh ok um I’ll pick you up at 6 then??” I questioningly say and Tobin nods her head, smiling slightly.

….

 

I find myself surprisingly nervous as I drive to the corner of Fred’s where I drop Tobin off. I pull up and see Tobin is sitting underneath a tree a little off of the road. She hops up, brushing the dust off of her, and making her way towards me. She hops into the car and I greet her and in return she actually smiles at me for the first time, catching me off guard at how much a smile changes her features. My eyes quickly run over and see that she’s wearing a plain loose white t-shirt, black jeans, and some vans, along with her classic snapback on her head.

 

As we drive I see Tobin nervously running her hands up and down her jeans, clenching and unclenching them. We arrive at Baja’s, a small hole in the wall type of place that had amazing food. Most of the popular kids don’t come here because a hipper place opened downtown.

 

The receptionist sits us down in a booth in the back of the restaurant. Our waitress, who happens to be the owner of Baja’s, comes up to take our order.

 

“Tobin! Hey honey I haven’t seen you in a while. You doing ok?” She asks putting a hand on Tobin’s shoulder.

 

Tobin flashes the women a full-fledged smile and it blows me away at how it changers her entire aurora. Tobin throws her a thumbs up, still smiling widely at the lady.

 

“Whose your friend Toby?” She asks as her eyes move from Tobin to me. Tobin signs something quickly to her.

 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you Alex, I’m Christie. Tobin’s been coming here every Friday since I could remember.” Christie says squeezing Tobin’s shoulder.

 

“Anyways what can I get you to drink?” She asks and takes our order before walking off.

 

“Is this why you agreed to have dinner with me again? Because it’s here on a Friday?” I ask and Tobin looks up from where she was fiddling with her napkin and shrugs her shoulders and wobbles her head.

 

“Well I guess I made a good guess then didn’t I?” I chuckle and Tobin gives me a small smile.

 

Over the course of the two hours we are at Baja’s conversation flies between the two of us, even with the speech barrier. I found out Tobin has an extremely dry sense of humor as she teased me relentlessly for accidently putting deadly hot sauce on my food instead of mild. I even get a couple of full fledged smiles out of Tobin, which makes my mind forget what I was saying as I take in how beautiful she is when she smiles like that.

 

I drop off Tobin at the same spot even though I protest saying its not a big deal for me to drop her off at her house. Tobin shakes her head and flashes me a note that she had started writing when we turned down the last street.

 

_Thank you so much for tonight. I had a really good time Alex._

I look into Tobin’s eyes, seemingly falling into her bright honey colored irises and I can tell that Tobin really did enjoy it. I say goodbye and watch as she walks away, hands in the pocket of her jeans as she strolls off down the dark street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sighhhhh I was only supposed to post one chapter...


	4. Fucking Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!!

 

On Monday I walk into calculus class and find a piece of paper in the shape of a swan on my desk. Confused, I pick it up and notice a very small folded piece of paper under it and I reach for it, unfolding it.

 

_Thank you for sitting and talking with me on Friday, it was a really nice change of pace. –T_

I smile as I read it and look over my shoulder to see Tobin observing me nervously as her fingers fiddle with the pencil in her hand. I smile at her and the corner of her moth rises into a closed lip smile.

 

However it fades as soon as it came and she drops her head, busying herself with her notebook. My eyebrows scrunch together in confusion and then only a moment later, I feel an arm placed around my shoulder and turn to see Brian smirking at me.

 

“Hey babe I just came to get my notebook that you borrowed. Woh did you make this?” He asks once he sees the origami in my hand.

 

“Um no I found it on my desk.” I respond as I look at Tobin out of the corner of my eye.

 

“Huh. I wonder if it flies.” He says and proceeds to take the paper swan out of my hand and flick it towards the back of the room.

 

“Guess it doesn’t. Alright I gotta go babe.” He says when he sees the swan flop onto the ground. He grabs his notebook and kisses me on the cheek before walking out of the classroom.

 

I try to make an apologetic face but Tobin has already lowered her head and I could tell by her body language that she was not going to be looking up again.

 

I’m leaving school Tuesday at a normal time today because I don’t have soccer practice due to the rainstorm, when I see Tobin walking in the torrential downpour.

 

“We gotta stop meeting like this.” I joke as I pull up next to her.

 

She turns around startled, blinking the rain out of her eyes, but smiles almost instantly when she sees its me. As we drive, the storm intensifies to the point that I’m only driving 20 mph down a main road. Tobin wants me to stop at the usual corner I drop her off at but this time I flat out refuse when I see Tobin looking out the window nervously, jumping and closing her eyes briefly every time it thunders.

 

“Tobin. Please just tell me where you live. It’s raining cats and dogs out there!” I say to her and she eventually directs me by pointing which street to turn down.

 

We’re only driving for a few minutes past Fred’s gas station when Tobin taps my arm. I immediately hit the breaks, turning to see that she lead me to an old small trailer with overgrown weeds that I had almost passed up.

 

Tobin sits in her seat, rubbing her arm up and down, looking at her home before writing something.

 

_Surgeons and psychiatrist cost a lot._ She shows me shyly, followed closely by the words:

 

_Thank you for the ride. Again._ She gives me a small smile, grabs her backpack, and takes off into the rain without giving me a chance to say something back to her. I watch her walk away for a moment before I get an idea and drive off

 

Wednesday I find myself going to the library after school to checkout a book for English. I’m passing by an aisle when I do a double take, noticing Tobin sitting down on the ground reading a book.

 

“Tobin?” I call out softly and her head pops up and she smiles when she sees that its only me.

 

I sit next to Tobin, leaning up against the book shelf, close enough that if one of us moved, our shoulders would brush together. I look over at Tobin and immediately notice that her lips are stained blue.

 

“Um Tobin why are your lips blue…?” I ask and she smirks at me before pulling out a blue raspberry push pop, causing me to laugh.

 

_They’re my favorite._ She writes to me.

 

I look down at my hands and clumsily sight out _cool_ to her. Her eyes widen in delight and she smiles brightly at me and I laugh at how blue her teeth are.

 

_When did you learn that??_ She writes hastily down in her excitement.

 

“I wanted to learn.” I say with a shrug of my shoulders before signing hi to her. Tobin responds right back with her own hi with a huge smile on her face.

 

She then signs something quickly back to me and I look at in confusion.

 

_Your name._ She mouths to me and I repeat it back to her to confirm that I read her lips correctly, causing her to nod her head happily.

 

I try to copy what she did and she silently laughs at me. After several tries, I get it right. She shows me several other simple ones before signing a large one. I try and fail miserably, which makes Tobin chuckle silent and shake her head before reaching over and placing her hands on mine, showing me the movements.

 

Heat rushes through my fingers at the contact and I glance up to see Tobin’s cheeks flushed and jaw clenched. Tobin’s hands move smoothly and delicately and I cant help but stare at them. This is the only way Tobin can communicate with the world and I marvel at the thought.

 

“What did I sign?” I ask.

 

_Lets go get something to eat._ She writes down for me, causing me to laugh and she smiles nervously at me with wide eyes until I nod my head. She smiles brightly, showing off her blue smile and I smile just as wide as her.

 

I drive us to a small Mexican restaurant and sit in a booth in the back corner. We eat chips and salsa, conversing with each and Tobin makes me laugh so loud from her dry sense of humor that several other tables look our way. Embarrassed, I hold my hand over my mouth while looking at Tobin with wide eyes, and Tobin bites her lip to stop herself from smiling.

 

The waiter comes to take our order, and stares at Tobin’s neck for a minute but stops when I clear my throat. I order for the both of us, glaring at the guy who doesn’t look at Tobin again. Tobin fiddles with a chip in her hand and waits for the guy to leave before looking up at me, giving me a small smile.

 

“Hey Tobin?” I say to her and her head pops up to look at me questioningly.

 

“What did happen?” I ask her and she stares at me before letting out a sigh. She pulls out several folded pieces of paper from her backpack but holds them in her hand. She writes down something in her notebook and slides it over along with the folded pieces of paper.

 

_I wrote this out a few days ago thinking you were gonna ask me sooner or later about what exactly happened to me._

When I’m done reading the note, I go to grab the folded papers, but before I can even touch them, Tobin basically throws herself across the table and stops my hand from touching them with a look of panic in her eyes. She takes back her notebook and scribbles something down quickly.

 

_Can you please read them later? I’m really enjoying spending time with you._ I read and look up at Tobin who is looking at me desperately. I nod my head smiling gently at her and she seems to let out the breath she was holding.

 

The rest of dinner goes by without a glitch, Tobin once again making me laugh so hard I have to clamp a hand over my mouth. I drive Tobin back to her house, realizing how late it is. Tobin thanks me and gives me a weird look that I cant place before getting out of the car.

 

I race home, not wanting to wait much longer to read the folded papers that felt like they were burning a hole in my pocket. I run up the stairs to slip past my mother, fling myself onto my bed, and begin to read the notes Tobin wrote.

 

_Alex,_

_I’m sure you’ve heard a lot of rumors about me since I came back to school, but since you still hang out with me, I’m assuming you don’t believe them, and if you do believe them and am hanging out with me just to know the real story, then here it is._

_The October before last, October 13, 2014 to be exact, I was by myself at home. My parents both had the night shift that night, and my brother, Jeff, and Servando were out going to go get some video games. I was sitting on the couch watching TV when the power went out because there was a huge storm going on outside._

_I get up to go to the kitchen to get some candles when I heard the back door open. I turned around thinking my brother and Serv were coming in with the pizza but freeze when I saw an unfamiliar man in front of me. I went to ask who he was, but before I could speak he suddenly ran for me, slamming me to the ground, making me pass out._

_I’m going to spare you the gory details because you don’t need to know them other then the fact that he really knew his way around a knife. I don’t know how much time has passed since the guy first came in, but I knew that I was on the verge of passing out at that point. That’s when Servando and Jeff walked in through the front door. At that moment timed seem to freeze, the sadistic man on top of me froze along with Serv and Jeff in the doorway. Jeff moved first, running at the man and tackling him to the ground, but not before the guy takes a swipe at my throat. I try to move my hands, but they are cuffed to the table and I remember beginning to choke on my own blood._

_I looked to the side and saw that Jeff was now underneath the man, a second later the man stabbed Jeff right in the chest several times. I try to scream but can’t because of the cut on my throat. I heard Servando let out a desperate cry before he tackled the man off Jeff. I saw the guy elbow Servando in the face, disorienting him, and running out the door. My vision was going black and right as I’m about to close my eyes and just let the darkness take away my pain, Serv came into my vision._

_He had tears pouring down his face as he placed a hand around my neck and was on the phone with someone. The last thing I remember was turning my head to the side and looking at Jeff’s dead body._

_The next thing I know, I’m waking up in a hospital, barely able to move. The doctors said I had over a hundred cuts on my body, requiring over 300 stitches on my body. The doctors told me I had a class 4 hemorrhage and went into hypovolemic shock from losing over 50% of my blood. I remember trying to talk to ask where my parents were, but the doctors quickly told me that I had lost my ability to ever speak again._

_Losing my voice has been really hard, but nothing will ever compare to losing Jeff in the way that I did. It’s beyond painful to me that people would believe I killed Jeff. I hope this clears up any ideas that you previously had about me._

_I’ve really been enjoying spending time with you Alex, I hope this doesn’t change anything._

_-Tobin_

I sit on my bed, the papers falling into my lap. A class 4 hemorrhage? Hypovolemic shock? Losing over 50% of her blood?!  


“Fucking hell.” I mutter to myself as I fall back onto my bed.

 

 


	5. Would You Like That?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just can't help myself!!! I'm too impatient!!

The next day at school, I’m the second in class and I see Tobin writing something in her notebook. I find another piece of origami on my desk, this time it’s a beautiful blue butterfly. As I flip it over to inspect it, I see a phone number written on the bottom of one of the wings. I look over to Tobin who is biting her lip nervously, looking up at me through her eyelashes.

 

I clumsily sign hi and thanks to her and suddenly she isn’t biting her lip because she gives me a blinding smile. She stares at me and I notice a different emotion in her eyes that wasn’t there a moment ago, but before either of us could action on it, our classmates begin to pour in. She swallows and gives me a very small smile prior to lowering her head. I let out a quiet, slightly disappointed for some reason.

 

I walk out of class, and see Tobin and Serv signing to each other quickly. Serv looks annoyed about something while Tobin looks defensive, her back stiff. Servando looks over Tobin’s shoulder, sees me, and begins to sign furiously to Tobin. Tobin looks over her shoulder and sends a small close lip smile which I return before walking off to class with a confused state of mind.

 

Later in the day I’m walking to my locker when I see Serv walking up to me.

 

“What are you doing with Tobin?” He demands to know with his jaw set.

 

“I don’t know what you mean.” I respond shocked at his aggression.

 

“Don’t mess with her, she’s been through a lot. She doesn’t need someone else to treat her like shit, your boyfriend and his followers already take care of that.” He says prior to storming off.

 

“What the hell.” I mutter to myself as he leaves me more confused then I was before.

 

On Friday at the end of the day, I open my locker and a notebook falls out. I pick it up and notice it’s the blue notebook that Tobin always uses with me. I open it in confusion and flip through it and see that an entire page is filled with Tobin’s handwriting. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I close the notebook immediately and shove it into my bag. I didn’t want anyone else to see what had been written in it, in a way it felt extremely intimate.

 

I turn to see Brian sucking on a lollipop while he says bye to some of his teammates.

 

“Hey babe, whats up!”

 

“Oh you know nothing much.” I say, still shoving the notebook into my bag.

 

“You want to go to Pop’s? I’m craving a milkshake.” He says chewing on his lollipop stick.

 

“Um no it’s ok, I’m not feeling too well.” I say holding my stomach for good measure.

 

“Ok that’s cool, I hope you feel better, see you later babe.” He says kissing my cheek and strutting off.

 

I rush home, running past my mom that whirls around in surprise, and launching myself onto my bed, pulling out Tobin’s notebook, turning to the page filled with the familiar handwriting.

 

_Hey Alex,_

_I’m home alone again. The silence here is deafening. Ever since the accident, my parents work as many hours as they can to pay off all the hospital bills. And when they aren’t working, they’re out drinking, anything to stay out of the house. It’s not the same house the accident happened in, but I think just being around me, makes them think about it. Before you, the only person that would actually talk to me at school or in general was Servando. My parents avoid any conversation with me, coming in late and leaving early so they didn’t have to communicate with me. I cant remember the last time they sat down and asked how my day was._

_Everyday, I walk into that concrete jungle that normal people call high school and wonder to myself when would people stop seeing me as the freaky girl with scars. When would I stop being made fun of for something I cant control? When would high school finally end?_

_But you didn’t judge me for my disabilities or appearance. I feel like I can talk to you about anything. You listen, and I feel like you see me as more then the silent girl with scars. Thanks for being my friend Alex._

I read over the letter 3 times, the pit in my stomach growing heavier each time I reread it. Tobin was so lonely. My heart breaks at the thought of Tobin sitting alone at home, and I don’t even think as I reach for my phone.

 

I call her and she answers on the 3rd ring.

 

“Hey Tobin.” I say and wait for a moment for a response before I curse to myself and hang up the phone to text her.

 

“Hey sorry had a mind fart.”

 

“Its ok, I thought it was funny.” She responds back quickly.

 

“Do you want to go to the movies?” I ask and it takes a few minutes for her to respond, I watch the bubbles appear and disappear several times before I get a response back.

 

“Do you like superheroes?”

 

20 minutes later I pull up to Tobin’s home and find her sitting on the steps of her trailer, nervously jiggling her knee.

 

When she sees me, she immediately hops up and climbs into my car, turning towards me with a wide grin on her face. She throws her arms forwards and I laugh at her excitement to go to the movies. I buy the tickets to the newest Avenger movie but Tobin convinces me to allow her to pay for the snacks after she pointed out which one she wanted. The woman getting our snacks stare at Tobin’s neck for what I feel is a solid minute before I clear my throat and she busies herself getting our popcorn. Tobin’s excited attitude fades away and she seems to shrink into herself due to the women’s stares.

 

I make my way to the very last row and as soon as we sit down, and Tobin notices that no one is near us, she seems to relax completely. Tobin taps my leg excitedly when the lights dim and she leans forward on the edge of her seat. Tobin quickly flashes a note saying she hasn’t been to the movies since before the accident. I’m slightly shocked because I go to the movies almost every week. Tobin shrugs her shoulders and writes down something.

 

_Serv is always busy with work and practice, plus I don’t really go out in public, don’t like the stares._

With that Tobin turns her attention towards the movie that just came onto the screen. I found more amusement in watching Tobin’s reactions to the movie then the movie itself. She jumps when there is an explosion, cringes when someone dies, and her jaw drops when something awesome happens. When the movie ended I go to stand up but realize quickly that Tobin is still sitting in her seat, thinking that she must be one of those people that watched films till the end, I sit back down.

 

The final credits along with a few bloopers end the movie, and I go to stand, Tobin following my actions this time. I can basically feel the excitement radiating off of Tobin as we walk to my car outside.

 

“Did you like the movie?” I ask her and she nods her head vigorously. She makes the motion of her head exploding and knows that means she was blown away by it.

 

“Yeah it was a pretty cool movie.” I chuckle as I climb into the drivers seat, starting up the car.

 

I’m driving Tobin back from the movies, thinking how happy and relaxed she is, when I think of something.

 

“You want to come eat dinner at my house?” I ask her suddenly.

 

Tobin looks at me with wide eyes and bites her lip before writing.

 

_Your parent would be cool with me?_

Without hesitation I assure her that would my parents would love to have her for dinner. I pull up to my house and I notice Tobin is playing with her hair nervously.

 

“Hey, its gonna be ok.” I say reaching over and putting a hand on top of Tobin’s. Tobin freezes, staring at my hand that is on top of hers, and looking back up at me, her eyes wide.

 

“My parents are going to love you.” I say to her before getting out of the car and walking inside, Tobin following hesitantly behind me.

 

When I walk into the kitchen, my mom pulls me into a hug, making sure not to get her spaghetti sauce covered spoon on me. As soon as I am released, I introduce Tobin to my mom.

 

My mom doesn’t even glance at Tobin’s neck, but pulls her straight into a hug.

 

“It’s nice to finally meet you honey. I can’t thank you enough for what you did for Alex that dreadful day at school, I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t been there.” My mom says once she pulls out of the hug.

 

Tobin smiles shyly, shrugging her shoulders in response before pulling out her notebook and flashing the word _bathroom?_ to me. I point down the hallwayto the first door on the right.

 

Once I see Tobin go into the bathroom, I turn to my mom and explain Tobin’s situation as quickly as I can, glossing over the gory parts as much as I can, and I watch my mother’s face morph with grief as I get further into Tobin’s story.

 

My mom opens her mouth to make a remark, but we both hear Tobin open the bathroom door. My mom makes Tobin feel right at home, talking so much that Tobin hardly had time to write anything down. I look over to Tobin and smile when I see the happy expression on her face as she listens to my mom tell a story about her recent encounter with a raccoon in the Walmart parking lot.

 

My mom places a large plate of spaghetti, corn, and French bread in front of Tobin and I before sitting down herself. Tobin takes a bite of her spaghetti and I hear her sigh loudly, causing my head to pop up.

 

_It’s been a while since Ive had a home cooked meal._ She flashes to me with a small smile before turning back to her plate that she quickly inhales.

 

I see my mom looking over at Tobin with concern in her eyes as she watches Tobin eat her food. She stands up grabbing the pot of spaghetti and pouring more onto Tobin’s plate.

 

“Tobin, you should come over for dinner tomorrow.” MY mom suggests after noticing how fast Tobin had finished her second plate of food.

 

Tobin suddenly looks nervous as she puts down the fork that was in her mouth onto her spotless plate and pulls out her notebook, swallowing the large amount of food in her mouth.

 

_I don’t want to intrude._

 

“Oh honey you’re not intruding! I wouldn’t have invited you if I didn’t like you!” My mom chuckles out. Tobin smiles weakly before nodding her head and my mom smiles at her.

 

“Good, we’re having fajitas tomorrow. You’re not allergic to anything are you?” She asks as she puts another piece of bread on Tobin’s plate and Tobin shakes her head no.

 

“Fantastic!” MY mom responds.

 

Half an hour later, we’re cleaning up the kitchen and as soon as we are done with it, Tobin points down the hall to the bathroom. My mom’s eyes follow Tobin to the bathroom and turn on me the moment Tobin has closed the door.

 

“Alex, I want you to invite that child over as much as possible, every dinner.” She says to me seriously and I grin at her as I nod my head happily. My mom nods her head once and walks off, mumbling to herself how she needed to buy more food at the grocery store.

 

I take Tobin home later that night after my mom insisted that we have ice cream after dinner. Once we are in front of her trailer, Tobin sits in the car for a few moments before looking up at me, trying to convey her thanks through her eyes.

 

“My mom wants you to come over and eat dinner with us every night. Would you like that?” I ask her placing my hand on top of hers.

 

Tobin glances down and looks out the window at her home for a moment before turning to me with tears in her eyes and jaw trembling. She nods her head, biting her lip to keep her tears at bay before launching herself over the center console and hugging me tightly. I hug her back just as tightly, breathing in her refreshingly different scent.

 

Tobin pulls away, wiping her cheeks and looking at me with a large smile on her face, and nods her head once more. She climbs out of the car and closes the door, but before she leaves she puts her hand on the window, looking at me through the glass, with a small smile on her face. I see her take a deep breath and walk away, leaving me feeling lighter and more content then I have in months.


	6. I Trust You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!

Over the next month, Tobin eats dinner at my house every single night. I’m growing to love our friendship and find myself making up excuses to my boyfriend and other friends, besides Ali, to hang out with Tobin. I can’t help but notice that throughout the month I notice Tobin’s eyes linger on me longer then usual. The few times I have caught her, she quickly drops her eyes, looking anywhere but me. I find myself not being bothered by her stares, but frown to myself in confusion when rather I welcome her gaze, craving for more of her attention.

 

It’s Saturday night and Tobin and I are putting away the dishes when the rainstorm outside, intensifies.

 

“Woh it’s really coming down out there.” I observe through the window.

 

Tobin is handing me a spoon when the power suddenly goes out. I hear a sharp intake of breath from my right side and immediately reach out for Tobin, but find nothing next to me.

 

“Tobin?!” I call out but of course get no answer.

 

As my mom goes around the house looking for candles, I pull my phone out of my pocket and turn the flashlight on, looking around the room for Tobin. My eyes finally land on her and I see that Tobin had dropped and crawled over to a corner of the kitchen, curled into a ball shaking, noticing that she jumped every time a thunder would rumble out. I walk slowly over to Tobin and touch her arm lightly and she flinches away from me, breathing heavily.

 

Not even thinking, I climb behind Tobin, hugging her to my chest while rubbing her arms gently and whispering in her ear that everything would be ok. The thunder and power outage seemed to have triggered what looks like a PTSD episode so I continue to talk to her gently and try to keep her grounded. My mom comes into the room with several candles and flashlights, looking at me with worry in her eyes when she sees Tobin. I bite my lip as I look at my mom, trying not to get teary eyed at the thought of what had been done to Tobin to make her this way. My mom lights as many candles as she can to light up the room in the hope that it would help Tobin.

 

After a few minutes, Tobin’s breathing sounds like it is evening out, slowing down as she takes deep breaths, and she leans into me completely. By this time Tobin has lifted her head a bit and sees that my mom has candles lighting up most of the house. She sniffs and quickly wipes away at the tears running down her cheeks as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her notebook.

 

_Sorry about that._ She shows me and I have to squint at her words in the low lighting.

 

“Don’t ever be sorry about that. Ok?” I whisper to her and she looks down at her slightly shaking hands, nodding her head.

 

_I guess I better get home it’s getting late._ She writes down and begins to stand up before I put a hand on her arm.

 

“Tobin you’re not going anywhere.” I say to her and she looks like she wants to argue back, but I take away her notebook.

 

My mom and I convince Tobin to stay the night, stating that the storm was too dangerous to be driving in, and she eventually agrees.

 

We get into my bed after I give Tobin some of my clothes to sleep in. It is still storming outside and I can feel Tobin try and stop her shaking, but failing when the thunder becomes louder and more frequent. Without thinking, I roll Tobin over, pulling her into me so that her nose was into my neck and my arms were around her. I feel Tobin freeze under me, but relax into me when I start to rub her back. We eventually fall asleep holding one another while the storm rages on outside.

 

I wake up in the middle of the night confused on what had shaken me from my sleep. I look around, noticing it is still storming outside, when I see that the reason I had woken up is because Tobin is shaking and sweating like crazy next to me. I attempt to try and wake Tobin up by gently shaking her shoulders.

 

Tobin’s hand suddenly shoots out and grabs my throat hard. I shake Tobin more roughly, rasping out her name as I feel her grip tighten on my throat. Tobin’s eyes open, completely dazed for a moment before they snap back to reality and she drops her hand. Tobin scrambles out of the bed, looking down at her hands, and breathing like she had just ran a marathon. She glances back up at me and sees that I have my hand on my neck rubbing it gently where her hands had just been, before running out of the room.

 

I take a moment to grasp the situation before chasing after Tobin, calling her name hoarsely. I hear Tobin open up the front door and run down the stairs after her. When I get downstairs, I see the front door wide open and I curse when I see Tobin running through the rain. I quickly jam my feet into my tennis shoes and run out the door while putting on my raincoat.

 

I see a blur of white streaking away from me in the torrential down pour. I run at a full out sprint, my tennis shoes completely soaked within seconds. I’m surprised by how quick Tobin is, and increase my already blazing pace. I see Tobin round a sharp corner and slip in the mud, smacking into the ground hard.

 

I come to a stop in front of Tobin breathing heavily, as she is slowly trying to get to her feet, dazed from her hard fall. I take Tobin’s hand and drag her back to the house that is at least half a mile away at this point.

 

When we finally get inside, I look behind me and see a shaking Tobin avoiding any type of eye contact with me. I tell her to stay put and go to grab a notebook, pencil, and candle from the kitchen counter and go back to find her in the same exact spot.

 

“Tell me what happened.” I croak out, my throat still sore from her episode.

 

Tobin’s entire body seems to be shaking as she writes out her response, and when she shows me the message, its hardly legible.

 

_I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry Alex. I didn’t want to ever hurt or scare you. You must think I’m crazy like everyone else now. It won’t happen again. I’m so sorry Alex._

I read the note quickly and look up at Tobin but am confused when the room is empty. I walk into the hallway right as the front door is shutting.

 

“Tobin stop!” I say once I hurry out the door and see her walking away once again. She turns around, shoulders hunched over, blinking through the heavy cold rain.

 

“Where are you going?” I ask her. Tobin doesn’t look at me but just points towards the road, her head still lowered, rain pouring down her face. I sigh and run my hand over my face before walking into the rain and dragging Tobin into the house again.

 

“How often does this happen?” I ask softly and she actually looks up at me before grabbing the notebook out of my hand.

 

_Almost every time it storms._ I read and gawk at the fact.

 

“Tobin. We live in Oregon…it rains like three times a week.” I say to her and she looks at me sadly before shrugging her shoulders.

 

“Do you have medicine that helps?”

 

_Too expensive._

_“_ What about your parents, do they know?”

 

_My parents are never home, and even if they were, its not like anyone can hear me._

“Does anyone know about this?” I ask her desperately and she hesitates before grabbing the notebook again.

 

_My doctors from St. Michaels do._ I look up at Tobin, taking in the tears on her cheeks and the goose bumps covering her skin from sweating one minute and then being drenched in icy rain the next. Her shorts and white t-shirt are soaked and covered in mud, and it allows me to see how thin and fragile she really is. I gently take Tobin’s hand, bringing her back upstairs, and leading her to the bathroom.

 

“You need to take a shower. I’ll be right back, I’m going to get you some clothes.” I say and she nods her head numbly.

 

I go grab her some loose clothes and am opening the door when I freeze at the sight before me. Tobin is slowly taking off her shirt, leaving her only in her sports bra and soaked shorts. My eyes widen when I see the amount of scars that liter Tobin’s body. There had to be 50 on her back alone.

 

Tobin turns around and her jaw clenches and her eyes drop to the floor when she makes eye contact with my shocked expression, curving into herself as if to hide her body.

 

“Here are some clothes.” I mumble before excusing myself from the bathroom, sliding against the door when it closes. I wipe away the tears on my cheeks and stand, busying myself by cleaning up the wet mess we had made.

 

Tobin exits the bathroom 15 minutes later, looking nervously in my general direction. She starts for the door when I ask her where she is going.

 

_I’m just going to sleep on the couch._ She flashes at me.

 

“You are most certainly not. You are sleeping right next to me.” I say patting the other side of the bed. I would never admit it out loud, but Tobin had really scared me earlier. However, I know that she needs someone to trust and believe in her.

 

“I trust you.” I whisper to her and she swallows before looking at the door again.

 

“Tobin please.” I whisper once more and her eyes lock onto mine as she slowly makes her way over.

 

She lies down on the bed, distancing herself as far away from me as possible, curled onto her side to put even more space in between us. I turn over, feeling the tension rolling off of Tobin and reach out to her, pulling her into me. I feel Tobin try to resist rolling into me, her hands frozen at her side, trying her best not to touch me.

 

“Relax.” I whisper softly into her ear, and once again pull her into me. This time I hear her let out a small sigh before laying her head gently on my chest.

 

I make sure to stay up until Tobin has fallen asleep, and wait an extra 30 minutes to make sure Tobin was going to sleep peacefully.

 

The last thing I remember before my lids grow heavy with exhaustion, is thinking of how her body fit perfectly into mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are you guys thinking so far?? I know you've asked for an update on Imagine You and Me, but I'm in the middle of writing that chapter, I already have these written so it's easy to just publish them. Hope you're enjoying this story!


	7. Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just can't contain myself ughhhhhh!

 

I wake up only a few hours later, the sunlight filtering in through the window and shining into my face. I look down and a small spark goes through my body when I see Tobin is still sleeping on me.

 

Cute is the first word that comes to mind when I look at Tobin. Her hair is a mess from going to bed with slightly wet hair, her face was completely relaxed, and her hand was curled into my shirt. The t-shirt I had given her was too big for her thin frame, and it had slipped in her sleep, revealing more of her shoulder and collarbone then usual.

 

My eyes fall onto the exposed skin, observing a long white scar that is right below her collarbone and shows brightly on her tan skin. My fingers reach out, and slowly run over the slightly raised skin. I continue the path along her skin as it comes to rest against another scar.

 

I’m so consumed with the scars that disrupt her smooth tan skin, that it takes a few minutes for me to realize Tobin’s breathing had changed. My eyes pop up and my heart jumps when I see Tobin curiously observing me.

 

I don’t remove my fingers from her collarbone, but slide them up her neck, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She swallows roughly, her eyes dropping to my throat as her fingers gently skim over the area she had grabbed last night.

 

Her eyes move up to meet mine, sadness pouring out of them as she mouths out the words I’m so sorry. I’m shaking my head before she’s finished mouthing the words.

 

“Stop apologizing. Stop.” I say when I see Tobin open her mouth again.

 

“I’m here for you. Always.” I whisper to her.

 

 

-Tobin’s POV-

 

“I’m here for you. Always.” Alex whispers to me and I feel an overwhelming amount of emotions hit me.

 

Tears well up in my eyes and I bury my head in the pillows and duvet. My shoulders shake with the effort to hold back my sobs. I feel Alex wrap her arm around me, and pull until I’m basically lying on top of her. I take a deep breath through my nose, my senses filling with the intoxicating but calming scent of Alex.

 

I lean back, wiping away my tears and almost lose it again when I see Alex wiping her own tears away. I roll off of Alex, reaching for my notebook on the side table and begin writing.

 

_I’m sorry I just haven’t had someone care for me like that in a while._

 

As Alex reads my note, I watch her facial expression morph into one of sadness. She turns to me, dropping the notebook, and runs her hands up my neck, cupping my face in her hands.

 

“You have me, let me take care of you.” She whispers and I swallow the huge lump in my throat as I nod my head. We lay in bed next to each other for a few more minutes until Alex sighs and rolls out of bed. I sit up swinging my legs over the side and rest there for minute as I crack all of my sore joints. As I’m popping my ankles, I feel Alex’s hand slide onto my cheek, tilting my head up slightly.

 

“Let’s go get some breakfast.” She says prior to kissing my cheek and walking out the room.

 

I sit stunned for a few minutes, running a hand over my cheek. My heart pounds and I close my eyes as I try and get my thoughts under control. Calm down Heath, she didn’t mean anything by it. Stop thinking like this because you’re gonna get your heart hurt I think to myself before clenching my jaw and shaking my head. Eventually I stand and make my way to the kitchen.

 

I find Alex’s mom already cooking some pancakes and bacon over the gas stove.

 

“Morning Tobin!” Alex’s mom says to me as soon as I walk into the kitchen.

 

I wave in response, my eyes immediately falling onto Alex’s form who smiles warmly at me as she sets orange juice on the table.

 

“How’d you sleep last night hon? I know I woke up at about 2 last night because the thunder was so loud.” She informs me as she flips over a pancake as I think about last night and my eyes meet Alex who is already looking at me.

 

“We woke up I think at the same time but we went back to sleep like right after.” Alex says casually and my heart rate returns to a normal pace.

 

“I hope the power comes back on soon. Oh! Tobin I forgot to ask you last night, do your parents know you’re here? They must be worried sick not knowing where you were last night in a storm like that!” Mrs. Morgan comments.

 

Before I can even think, Alex is already responding.

 

“ Yeah, she texted her last night before we went to bed.”

 

“Oh good! I know I would be worried sick if my Alex was somewhere when that storm hit.” Alex’s mom casually remarks.

 

Although it was a flippant statement, my heart sinks at the thought that my parents probably didn’t even know I wasn’t home last night. I rub at my wrist in discomfort as I sit down, staring at the heaping plate of pancakes that Mrs. Morgan had just sat down in front of me.

 

I bite the inside of my cheek as I slowly reach for my fork and knife. As I’m cutting my pancakes into precise pieces, I feel a hand land lightly on my thigh. I look to the side and see Alex looking at me with a soft smile on her face. I give a small smile back and place my hand over hers, squeezing lightly. We stare at each other for a few moments before Alex turns her attention to her pancakes, gently letting go of my hand but not prior to giving it a reassuring squeeze.

 

I gaze at Alex for a second more, still smiling slightly, before facing forward again and immediately freezing. Mrs. Morgan is standing in front of us, spatula raised, as she looks between Alex and I with her eyebrows scrunched together and eyes squinted. She looks back to me, and my eyes widen when we make eye contact. I drop my eyes quickly and begin to shove pancakes into my mouth. I’ve finished an entire pancake in only three bites when Alex puts her hand on my arm.

 

“Tobin slow down, there is plenty of food! Slow down or you’re going to choke.” Alex chuckles while I look up and see Mrs. Morgan watching us intensely, causing me to choke on the pancake I was swallowing. As I have a coughing fit, Alex rubs my back gently while telling me that she told me so.

 

By the time I’ve finished my coughing fit, Mrs. Morgan has already turned her attention back to the stove. We’re cleaning up the kitchen as best as we can without power when Alex’s mom casually brings up a topic.

 

“Alex, don’t forget to pack your bag for the cabin soon since we leave on Wednesday.”

 

“How long will we be gone for again?” Alex asks as she dries a plate.

 

“The whole Thanksgiving break.”

 

My stomach drops when I think about the 10 days that I’ll be left alone for this upcoming week. Servando is traveling to see his family in Southern California, so I wouldn’t even be able to see him. I start to calculate in my head how much food was at home. It’s getting colder now, had the electric bill been paid? Would my parents be going on a rager? All these thoughts rush through my head, but are abruptly stopped when I feel Alex put a hand on my lower back.

 

“Are you okay?” She asks quietly, a worried expression on her face. I nod my head and she looks at my skeptically.

 

“Are you sure? You got really white just now.” She says and I shake my head giving her a thumbs up.

 

I excuse myself to the bathroom, splashing water on my face to try and calm myself down. I take a deep breath and am walking back to the kitchen when I hear Mrs. Morgan.

 

“Is Tobin ok Alex? She looked really shaken up this morning.”

 

Alex doesn’t respond for a moment, but eventually does.

 

“I think she’s worried about what she’s gonna do over the break.” Alex replies quietly. Catching on to Alex wanting to stay quiet, Mrs. Morgan responds in a low voice.

 

“Why would she be worried about being on break?”

 

“Her parents don’t exactly look after her…”

 

“What do you mean?” Alex’s mom asks, her voice becoming a bit harsh.

 

“I don’t know if I should be telling you th-“

 

“Alexandra Morgan tell me right now.” Mrs. Morgan demands.

 

“They blame Tobin for her brother’s death, so they aren’t ever home, don’t ever buy food, are always drunk, and act like Tobin doesn’t exist.” I hear Alex explain quickly.

 

“They don’t buy food…? How does Tobin eat?”

 

“She eats a granola bar in the morning that this one cafeteria lady gives her everyday and then she eats whatever we have for dinner at night.”

 

“Oh my god…no wonder that girl was so skinny when she first came over.” Mrs. Morgan says sadly.

 

I can’t listen to the pity in their voices any longer, so I make my presence known by stomping my feet on the wood floor as I walk into the kitchen. When I enter the room, I find Alex looking at me with a small smile on her face and Mrs. Morgan’s back turned to me.

 

“What um hmm what are you doing for the break Tobin?” Alex’s mom asks after she clears her throat.

 

I look over at Alex who smiles encouragingly at me and turn back to see Mrs. Morgan looking at me with tears in her eyes. I shrug my shoulders, knowing that I would be doing nothing.

 

“Would you like to come with us to our cabin?” She asks me and I frown as I reach for my notebook.

 

_I don’t want to be a burden, you’ve already do so much for me._ I flash at her and she starts to shake her head as soon as she’s finished reading the note.

 

She takes the notebook out of my hand, setting it on the counter before pulling me into a deep hug. At first, I’m extremely stiff, not knowing what to do, but eventually I settle into Mrs. Morgan’s body. I wrap my arms around her waist hesitantly and she pulls me further into her warm body.

 

“Let me take care of you honey, you’re part of the family now.” She whispers in my ear and it causes me to have to take a deep breath. I hold on tighter to her, scrunching my eyes closed to try and stop the tears from escaping my eyes.

 

“Ok?” She says rubbing my back while still keeping me in her warm and soft embrace.

 

All I can do is nod my head, the top of my head rubbing against her chin. She holds me for a good minute more before she finally lets me go. We both wipe tears off of our cheeks and I chuckle slightly when I look over and see Alex doing the same motion. I hold eye contact with Alex, but can feel Mrs. Morgan leave the room. As soon as she is gone, Alex strides over, taking me into her arms and I gladly hug her back this time.

 

“Everything is gonna be alright.” She whispers into my ear, and I close my eyes breathing in deeply as I try to engrain this moment into my brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the people asking about Camp Red Fern, I'm unsure of how to connect the ending with the storyline i have right now, so it might be a while before there is an update. For Imagine You and Me, I'm about 3/4 done with the next chapter so the wait shouldn't be too long! Tell me what you guys think so far! Is it better or worse then my other stories? Also I'd like to know your opinion on if you thought Christen would have fit Alex's character so far.


	8. Donuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys!

Alex’s POV

 

I’m basically jumping with excitement as I drive Wednesday morning to Tobin’s home to pick her up. I guess I’m not the only one, because when I pull up Tobin is standing on the side walk bouncing on the balls of her feet due to it being freezing and misty outside.

 

When she sees me, she gives me a blinding grin and picks up her one bag, throwing it into the back of my car. I grab her hand in excitement but let it go immediately when I register that her hand feels like ice.

 

“Tobin, your hand is freezing!” I say before turning up the heat.

 

_I was too excited to wait inside.”_ She shows me and I chuckle at her.

 

“Have you eaten anything yet?” I ask her and she shakes her head slowly.

 

“Ok awesome, neither have I so we’re getting donuts!” I say and Tobin’s eyes light up with joy as she basically bounces up and down in her seat with excitement.

 

I pull up to the donut shop and we walk inside, both of us sighing at the smell of sweet fried dough.

 

“How hungry are you?” I ask her and she starts to shrug her shoulder when her stomach answers me rowdily.

 

She blushes and has a nervous smile on her face as I chuckle at her, but then stop chuckling when I remember she probably hasn’t had anything to eat since yesterday morning. My mom, dad, and I had to go out of town to watch my cousins play and didn’t get home until late last night so Tobin couldn’t come over for dinner last night like she has been for over the past month.

 

I look over at Tobin who is licking her lips discretely, swallowing hard as her wide eyes look at all the different kind of donuts, and my heart clenches at her wistful face.

 

“Hi can we have a dozen glaze, a dozen chocolate, 6 cinnamon twist, and 2 apple fritters. Oh and 2 chocolate milks!” I order and I feel Tobin hit me in the shoulder and I turn to see her looking at me with an exasperated expression.

 

“What? We can have them as snacks on the road.” I say with a shrug of my shoulders.

 

Tobin looks like she wants to argue with me but stops when her hunger wins out and she sees the lady handing over all of the donuts. I pay and we skip off to the car, giddy with the anticipation of donuts and the trip. We eat the donuts on the way back to my house, and I’m reaching for my second donut when I look down and realize six donuts are already gone.

 

I glance over at Tobin who is munching on her seventh donut happily, bopping her head to the song on the radio, glaze crumbs all over her lips, and I can’t help but smile brightly when I turn my attention back to the road. We pull up to my house and my mom and dad are outside loading up my Dad’s Land Rover.

 

We get out of the car, Tobin carefully balancing the donut boxes in her hands, and walk over to my Dad’s car. My dad picks up Tobin’s bag and puts it into the back of the car.

 

“Gosh this is all your bringing for 10 days Tobin? I wish my wife and daughter packed like you.” He chuckles and I see Tobin give him a shy smile. She seems to still be slightly nervous around my dad from not having spent much time with him, so I walk over next to her, bumping my shoulder against hers.

 

She turns to me, amusement in her eyes. My own eyes drop to her lips that still have crumbs on them, before I bring my thumb up to wipe them away. I feel her mouth go slack under my finger, and see that her eyes glance down at my own lips.

 

The sound of a car pulling up and a door slamming breaks me from the haze I was in and I remove my hand from Tobin’s bottom lip, turning towards the noise. I freeze when I see Brian climbing out of his Corvette.

 

“Hey babe I wanted to come say goodby- what the fuck is the freak doing here.” He demands to know when he sees Tobin standing next to me. Tobin’s eyes immediately go wide and she drops her eyes to the donut box that is shaking in her hand.

 

“Bria-“

 

“Seriously Alex what is she doing at your house?” He asks, his voice getting louder.

 

“Well um Tobin is…um Tobin is coming with us for Thanksgiving break.” I say lightly, my eyes glued to the floor.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me Alex? You told me I couldn’t come with you but you invite the school freak that can’t even talk? What the fuck is that?!” He yells, raising his voice in anger.

 

“Don’t call her that!” I reply back in anger, my head snapping up at his comment.

 

“What? A freak?! Look at her babe she is!” He shouts, pointing at Tobin who had set down the boxes of donuts on the ground, and was walking dejectedly away.

 

Before Tobin could get more then 10 feet down the sidewalk, my mom steps in front of her, putting both hands on Tobin’s shoulders. She looks up at Brian with fire in her eyes, staring him down.

 

“Brian, I suggest you leave.” She says to him with controlled anger. Brian looks over at me nostrils flaring and shakes his head furiously.

 

“We’re talking about this later.” He says to me before storming off, slamming his car door, and speeding off.

 

“Shit.” I mutter to myself as I watch his taillights. I look over at Tobin who is looking at the ground biting her lip as my mom whispers something into her ear. My mom makes her way over to me, giving me an intense look. I sigh walking over to Tobin, who is still looking at the ground.

 

“Hey, don’t listen to anything he said. I want you here. I don’t think you’re a freak. Ok? You’re my friend Tobin.” I say to her gently while moving my hand to tilt her chin up. Her eyes meet mine, and I internally cringe at how much 2 minutes can change Tobin’s entire demeanor.

 

_He’s right you know. I shouldn’t be hanging out with you_. She writes quickly.

 

“Hey, stop. Forget what just happened, lets get into the car and eat all of those donuts while planning what a great fucking time we’re gonna have over the break.” I tell her and grin when I see a small smile grace Tobin’s face as she nods ok.

 

We walk back to the car, picking up the donuts on the ground, and start to climb into the car. Tobin climbs in first, but before I could follow, my mom touches my shoulder lightly, causing me to turn around.

 

“Alex.” She states, looking at me, an expecting expression on her face.

 

“I know mom.” I say, knowing exactly what she’s silently referring to as I get into the car.

 

As my dad puts the car into drive, I look over at Tobin who is gazing out the window. I put my hand on top of her leg and squeeze gently to het her attention. She turns to me instantly, eyes slightly wide and eyebrows raised at my touch. I give her a sincere smile and I can see the worry finally leave her brown eyes as she smiles at me warmly in return.

 

My parents get into a conversation about my dad’s latest work meeting, leaving Tobin and I basically to ourselves.

 

_Will it just be us there?_ Tobin asks.

 

“Oh no! The cabin is HUGE, my four grandparents all went in on it and bought it like 20 years ago so the whole family usually comes.” I see Tobin swallow nervously as she nods her head.

 

“Hey you don’t need to worry about anything, my whole family will love you.” I say to her and she just nods her head again, looking out the window.

 

 

The rest of the long drive pass with Tobin and I writing back and forth to each other and Tobin teaching me more sign language. After about 3 hours, we both become tired of it and I plug in my music, offering an ear bud to Tobin. She smiles and nods her head graciously before turning to gaze out the window at the scenery surrounding us. I can see Tobin nodding off after a few minutes so I gently direct her head so that she could sleep on my shoulder.

 

I stare at her sleeping soundlessly on my shoulder for a moment before pulling out my phone. I take a selfie because she’s just so adorable when she’s peacefully sleeping. I look at the picture, smiling slightly, before looking up at the front window. However, instead of the mountains I see my mom turned around in her seat looking from Tobin to me, eyebrow raised and a smirk on her face. I blush instantly, turning my attention to my phone in my lap.

 

As I scroll through my songs, I can’t get the girl who is sleeping on my shoulder out of my mind. Even though Tobin had been through the worst type of tragedy I have ever personally heard of, she is the most kind and sincere person I have met. I think back to how a few hours ago Tobin was thrilled with simple stuff my friends and I take for granted, trivial things like donuts.

 

My heart breaks at the way she’s been treated over the last two years, and anger washes through me as I think about what Brian had said to her this morning. I close my eyes and clench my jaw as my mind wanders off and thinks about what some people must say to her when no one is around to protect her. Why are teenagers so cruel? I think to myself as I wipe away a tear of frustration from my cheek.

 

I look down at Tobin, silently vowing to myself that I would do as much as I could to be there for her as much as I possibly could and protect her from our peers. I see that a stray piece of hair had fallen into her face, and I gently tuck it behind her ear. My heart does a small somersault when she scoots closer, her cold nose touching my neck, allowing me to feel her slow exhales. I take a deep breath before laying my head on top of hers, closing my eyes, blocking out the rest of the world and disregarding anything but the body curled into my side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you guys think about it! Hit me up on my tumblr: WolfgangRythem if you have any questions!


	9. Let's Do This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait guys!

“Tobin. Hey Tobin.” I whisper, gently shaking her shoulder.

 

She pops up, one eye open as she squints through the sun that is filtering in through the window. I bite my lip from chuckling at her sleepily confused expression as she looks at me with a slight smile on her lips.

 

“We’re here.” I tell her and her eyes light up in excitement as she hurriedly looks out the window at the long driveway we were going down.

 

When we come to a stop, I watch Tobin’s eyes go wide as she takes in the monstrosity of the cabin in front of us. I tug her out of the car, chuckling as we go.

 

“C’mon you haven’t even seen the best part yet.”

 

I tow her through the cabin, not slowing down even though I know Tobin’s head is spinning around trying to take in every detail. I drag her up two flights of stairs and then towards a small ladder staircase that’s in the middle of the top floor. I climb up it, unlocking and quickly pushing open the latch door.

 

I stand up, smiling broadly when I look around. Bending down, I pull Tobin up and watch as her mouth drops.

 

We’re standing on a balcony that overlooks the Cascade Mountains, nothing blocking our spectacular view. Tobin turns to me in awe before sitting down and just staring at the view. Even though it’s freezing, we sit next to each other, leaning against one another, until the sun has set.

 

We go back down eventually, and help to unload our bags and groceries from the car.

 

“Everyone else won’t be here until tomorrow, so we have the place to ourselves tonight.” I say as I take Tobin on a tour around the huge cabin.

 

We end up playing pool for hours next to the blazing warm fire after a simple dinner of grilled cheeses and chips. I make sure Tobin has enough to eat, producing her a second grilled cheese when I see how fast she ate the first one. After dinner, I drag as many blankets that I can carry into the living room, Tobin following along behind me with just as many blankets. We make a huge pallet of blankets and pillows on the ground, curling up close to the fire as we put on a movie and drink hot chocolate.

 

Without even realizing it, I had fallen asleep and didn’t wake up until the next morning. I look over, noting that the fire had burned down to nothing but coals and find the spot Tobin had been in last night cold.

 

Confused and slightly concerned, I stand up and go in search of her. I look through the entire house and am starting to freak out when I can’t find her. I step out onto the deck, the chilling morning air waking me up instantly. The knot in my stomach goes away when I hear someone whistling a familiar tune, knowing that it is Tobin right away.

 

My head twirls towards the sound, and I find Tobin practically skipping down one of the many trails that surround the cabin. She makes eye contact with me and a huge smile flashes across her face as she jogs over to me. She comes to a hopping stop in front of me, little white clouds escaping from her overheated body.

 

_Hi_ she mouths to me and I smile back saying hi in response.

 

Tobin looks at me for a few seconds still smiling, before pulling a bouquet of freshly picked flowers from behind her back. I take the flowers gently from her hands and look up at Tobin, taking in her appearance.

 

Her cheeks and nose are flushed and pink from her time out in the brisk morning air, she can’t seem to stay still, and I’ve never seen her eyes seem more alive. I can’t help but find her extremely attractive in this moment as she smiles widely at me, and I do my best to calm my thumping heart.

 

“These are beautiful, where’d you find them?” I ask her as I inhale the heavenly scent.

 

Tobin turns around, pointing towards the top of the largest hill that surrounds us.

 

“You climbed that this morning?” I ask, the hill had to be an incline of 500 feet.

 

Tobin just looks at me happily, nodding her head. I break out into a smile shaking my head incredulously.

 

“C’mon mountain goat, let’s get you some breakfast.” I say prior to taking her cold hand in my warm one, and dragging her inside.

 

I find a vase in one of the cabinets, fill it with water, and place Tobin’s flowers that she had picked for me in it.

 

“How does pancakes and bacon sound for breakfast??” I ask as I look through the fridge. I turn around to see Tobin nodding her head excitedly, and I giggle at her childlike reaction.

 

I start to cook the bacon as Tobin mixes the pancake batter in a large bowl. Her technique for mixing is very enthusiastic, and soon I feel specks of batter hitting my arm.

 

“Tobin! You’re getting batter on me!” I say to her, and I see that she is looking at me with a slight smirk on her face. Before I know it, Tobin takes a finger full of batter and wipes it across my face. Almost instantly, Tobin bends over in silent laughter from what I am assuming is my shocked expression. I recover quickly, determinedly reaching out for the bowl, and at my movement, Tobin takes off running. She seeks refuge in the island in the middle of the kitchen, smiling wildly at me, knowing that I couldn’t reach her.

 

I move my eyes past her, letting them go wide and my hand drop to my side. Tobin falls for my trick and spins around to see what caught my attention, giving me enough time to sneak around the island. As she turns around, I bring my batter filled hand up to her face, smearing it across her cheeks, nose, and lips. Her mouth drops in humorous shock before reaching out with both of her arms, pulling me in closer, and starts to rub her face all over mine.

 

I shriek in protest, not being able to help the uncontrollable giggles I get as I try to escape from Tobin’s grasp. Her grip only tightens the more I struggle, and after about a minute, I stop struggling, my hands falling limp at my sides.

 

She pulls back a few inches, and I stare into her mirth filled eyes, hoping that she couldn’t hear how hard my heart was pounding from her close proximity. We stand there, taking in how ridiculous how each other looks, but I forget that we’re both covered in batter the moment Tobin swallows hard, her eyes glancing down at my lips.

 

I take a small step closer, leaning in until our sticky noses rub against one another, and I swear I hear Tobin inhale. I lick my lips, noting the sweet floury taste of them, as I look at Tobin who mirrors my actions. I slightly tilt my head to the side, gazing up at Tobin who is observing me with her bright whiskey colored eyes.

 

Hoping against hope that Tobin is on the same track as me, I lean in slowly, and this time I do hear Tobin inhale sharply. My lips have barely grazed her batter covered ones when I hear someone come stomping down the stairs.

 

Tobin moves so quickly, that I don’t even have a chance to. She’s across the room, her back to me, checking on the bacon, before I have even straightened my position.

 

“Good morn- Alex what on earth have you got on your face?” My mom laughs out baffled.  

 

“Oh Tobin and I had a bit of a pancake batter food fight.” I respond quickly, and Tobin twirls around to show the proof, as her face is just as covered as mine.

 

“Okkkkk well I would love some pancakes that are not made from the batter on either of your faces.” She chuckles, walking out the patio door and sitting in a chair to enjoy the morning air.

 

I make my way around the island, going back to my spot on the stove. Tobin is firmly avoiding eye contact with me as she stares at the bacon, and I can see, even under all of the batter, that she is blushing furiously.

 

“Tobin. Hey Tobin.” I say, putting a hand on her shoulder.

 

She turns to me, her eyes filled are a mixture of worry and embarrassment, and I open my mouth to talk to her when my dad comes into the kitchen whistling. Letting out a breath of slight annoyance at the second interruption, I grab a rag, wetting it, before beginning to scrub the mess off of my face.

 

When I’ve finished cleaning my face, I twist to Tobin expectedly. She in turn, glances at me and once seeing what I wanted to do, turned to me fully. I wipe off the batter as gently and quickly as I can, not wanting to make Tobin more uncomfortable then she already was.

 

Once I’m done with that, I go back to the half mixed bowl, picking up the spoon to finish mixing the contents. I feel a poke at my lower back, and look over to see Tobin holding out her notepad to me.

 

_Do we have chocolate chips?_

I bite my lip as I read it, knowing that this is Tobin’s peculiar way in telling her she was ok with what had occurred a few minutes ago. Without looking to Tobin, I hurry to the cabinet, grab the bag of chocolate chips, and twirl around with a smile on my face.

 

Tobin’s worried expression from me walking away from her disappears when she sees what I have in my hand, and she smiles widely at me.

 

The rest of breakfast goes without a hitch, Tobin stealing pieces of pancakes and bacon off of my plate. After washing all of the dishes, we find ourselves lounging on the pile of blankets, an episode of Chopped on in front of us.

 

We are on our fifth episode of chopped, lying close to one another with our hands almost touching, when we hear multiple car doors slam.

 

Tobin instantly sits up, looking through the many windows the living room had, to see close to 20 people piling out of cars. I know without even looking that Tobin is freaking out. I glance over and my suspicions are confirmed when I see her gulp nervously.

 

“Hey its ok, my family is very laidback.” I say to her, gently putting a hand on tops of hers. She immediately flips over her hand, intertwining our fingers in a way that seemed like she didn’t even think about is as she continues to observe my family members. However, my heart speeds up at the simple contact of her hand in mine.

 

When the front door opens she turns to me, takes a deep breath, and gives me a small smile before standing, pulling me up with her.

 

_Let’s do this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying it so far, it should be picking up pretty soon!


	10. Ava

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are we thinking so far guys??

I pull Tobin down the stairs behind me, leading the way to the front door right as my family members burst in.

 

“I swear to god Kenzie if you don’t shut the hell up, I’m going to fu-“

 

“You’re gonna what Dylan?!”

 

“Kenzie I swe-“

 

“Oh don’t get in on this too Ava!”

 

“Children! We have just gotten here! I am not dealing with this bull shit for the next week and a half!”

 

I turn back to look at Tobin who is a step higher then me on the stairs, her eyebrows raised in amusement at the scene in front of us.

 

“Welcome to the Morgan family.” I chuckle and she smiles slightly, her eyes still on the ever-growing crowd of people pushing through the door. I take a step up so that I’m on the same level as Tobin, and lean into her ear to give her a bit of information.

 

“So the guy with the snapback is my cousin Dylan, and the girl with beanie is Ava. They’re twins and are pretty chill, you guys should get along great. The other girl with the platinum dyed hair is Kenzie, my cousin. She’s also a raging bitch so beware. The lady that yelled is my Aunt Karen, Dylan and Ava’s mom, aka the coolest aunt ever.” I tell her, pointing out a few more family members that walk through the door before we are spotted.

 

“Yo Alex! What’s up!” Dylan calls out with a head nod and a smile as he makes his way up the stairs, followed closely by Ava and a still fuming Kenzie that pushes past us.

 

“Hey Dylan, long time no see!” I say, pulling him in for a hug.

 

“Yeah, haven’t seen you since you came down to LA in the summer!”

 

“Hi Alex!” Ava says, popping out from behind Dylan before hugging me as well.

 

“Whose your friend?” Ava asks as her eyes skimming Tobin, a bright smile on her face as she looks over Tobin’s features.

 

My stomach flips at the sight of Ava looking at Tobin the way she is now. Everyone with eyes knows that Ava is gay, and she does nothing to hide it. It also doesn’t help the fact that Ava is drop dead gorgeous. She’s fit, tan, and has naturally highlighted hair from all of her time outside either skateboarding or surfing in the sunny southern California weather. Her eyes are the same shade of blue as mine, and when she smiles, her straight white teeth gleam against her tan skin. She has a maroon beanie on her head, a white Thrasher t-shirt with a flannel over it, black ripped skinny jeans, and white vans.

 

“This is Tobin, a really good friend of mine.” I say, laying a hand on Tobin’s arm.

 

“Hi Tobin, I’m Ava.” She says, showing off her perfect smile, as she goes in for a handshake. Tobin shakes her hand, and nods her head in understanding, looking at me out of the corner of her eye to translate.

 

“Tobin is actually mute, so don’t be offended when she doesn’t answer back. She carries a notebook around with her if you need to ask any questions.”

 

“No way?! Do you know ASL?! I’ve been studying it for the last year!” Ava exclaims quickly, glancing only slightly at Tobin’s neck. Tobin’s eyes light up with joy as she nods her head in excitement.

 

They sign quickly to one another, and I watch Tobin as she seems awestruck at Ava’s ability to communicate with her. After a few exchanges, they stop and just smile at one another.

 

“Well this must be fate, I’ve never met someone that uses ASL on a daily basis, and it looks like you’ve got your own personal translator for the trip.” Ava says, winking at Tobin. I expect Tobin to look at me nervously but am surprised, along with slightly disappointed, when Tobin simply blushes and smiles at her feet in reaction to Ava’s statement.

 

“Well, seems like you’re a pretty cool chick Tobin. We should totally go for a hike after we unload all of the cars, and disappear before I get into another argument with Kenzie. You like to hike Tobin?” Dylan casually asks as he picks his bag off of the ground.

 

Tobin nods her head in an affirmative, a smile on her face, and I watch out of the corner of my eye as Ava smiles in response.

 

“Sweet. Meet you guys back here in like 30 minutes! ” He calls out and begins to walk up the stairs.

 

“See you in a bit Alex. And Tobs.” She says, following him up the stairs, but not before sending Tobin another wink over her shoulder.

 

My mouth drops in astonishment and I watch Tobin’s eyes follow Ava’s athletic frame as she walks up the stairs. When Tobin turns to me, I instantly close my mouth, hiding my jealousy.

 

She smiles widely at me, tilting her head upstairs in her silent way of telling me lets get ready for the hike, before grabbing my hand and pulling me up the stairs. I bite my lip to hide the smile threating to cross my face from the feeling of Tobin’s soft hand in mine.

 

Thirty minutes later we find ourselves marching out the door, backpacks on and our water bottles full. Ava immediately grabs onto Tobin’s arm, dragging her in front of Dylan and I. I fume as I watch Tobin blush under Ava’s attention as they sign quickly to one another. After a few minutes of walking in silence with Dylan as I watch Ava laugh at whatever Tobin signed, Dylan turns to me with a smirk on his face.

 

“Jealousy does look good on you cuz.” He whispers.

 

My head snaps to view his smirking face with the idea to tell him to shut up, but deflate when I hear Ava laughing at Tobin again.

 

“Is it really that obvious?” I sigh as I look back to where Ava now has an arm draped around Tobin’s shoulders.

 

“My twin is just a flirt, don’t worry about it.” Dylan says, swinging his own arm around my shoulders.

 

“Yeah but your twin is also gorgeous.” I whisper, letting my insecurities show.

 

Dylan and I had always had a weird connection. It didn’t matter how long we went without seeing each other, we always picked up right where we had left off. I look up to Dylan like a big brother, and I’m pretty sure he sees me as another little sister. When something is off, he pops up out of nowhere, handing a beer to me and we drink in silence until I spill what’s on my mind. Dylan snorts at my statement, pulling me in closer.

 

“Alex, have you seen yourself? I must be the luckiest guy on earth, I’m surrounded by three smoking hot women in the middle of gorgeous backcountry. I might also be the unluckiest considering that I’m related to two and all three are gay.” He chuckles out and I join in with him, not believing how easy it is to talk about this with Dylan.

 

“You know I’ve always kind of known.” Dylan says, breaking the silence after a few moments. I tilt my head in confusion as I look up at him.

 

“That you had a little gay in you.” He says looking straight ahead with that damn smirk back on his face.

 

“How?!” I demand louder then I had intended, causing Ava and Tobin to look over their shoulder.

 

“Well a guy starts to wonder when his smoking hot cousin ignores all of the advances of equally hot men on the beach because she’s too busy staring at Ava’s surfer friend’s ass.” He says in a light teasing tone, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes.

 

“You’re too fucking observant for your own good.” I grumble out, blushing at the fact I had been caught. Dylan leans his head back, letting out a loud barking laugh at my reaction.

 

“Sometimes it’s not for my own good, sometimes I’m trying to help out my favorite cousin. Like right now I can tell you that Tobin is flustered by Ava’s advances, but she keeps turning around to check that you’re right behind her.” Dylan informs me in a quiet tone and then points as if to prove his point. Of course Tobin decides at that exact moment to look over her shoulder, smiling brightly when she makes eye contact with me.

 

“Told you.” Dylan says smugly.

 

“Yeah yeah shut up.” I mumble, blushing once again as I scuff my shoes against a passing rock.

 

The rest of the hike passes by in lighter conversation, Dylan talking about his ideas for opening a surf/skate shop once he’s done with college in two years while I talk about high school and soccer. Tobin slows down until our strides our in sync, Ava walking on the other side of Tobin.

 

Three hours later, the last thirty minutes being extremely challenging, we find ourselves at the peak of the mountain. I smile as I watch Tobin make her way to the very edge, closing her eyes as she breathes in deeply. She turns around, making eye contact with me, and motioning for me to come stand by her. I walk the few feet over and sit down with Tobin on the large rock that gives an even better. I feel Tobin link our pinkies together and look over to see Tobin smiling gently at me.

 

_Thank you_. She mouths and I smile back as I put my other hand on top of our connected ones. We both turn our attention back to the incredible view. All four of us stay silent as we look around at the beauty that surrounds us, until I hear Tobin’s stomach grumble rowdily.

 

I laugh loudly, noticing how Tobin is embarrassed for a moment before she chuckles silently next to me.

 

“Well it seems like someone worked up an appetite this morning, lets head back so we can feed you.” Ava says, pulling Tobin to her feet by her hand and skips off, dragging Tobin with her.

 

I let out a sigh as I stand and slowly make my way after them. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and reach for it, but am confused when I see it’s from Dylan.

 

“You can thank me later.” He says as he walks passed me.

 

I open the message quickly, and a huge smile finds my face when I see what it contains. Dylan had taken a picture of Tobin and I when we had been smiling at each other. The combination of the quality, the way we were looking at each other, and the gorgeous background, made it my favorite picture instantly. I immediately save the picture to my camera roll, make it my screen saver, and jog to catch up with the group.

 

“You’re welcome.” Dylan says in singsong voice.

 

“Shut up.” I say, bumping my shoulder against his. I watch as Ava switches Tobin’s snapback for her beanie, pulling her snapback onto her own head. The action doesn’t even bother me, and I smile as I think about the picture of Tobin and I burning a hole in my pocket.

 

We get back to the cabin quicker then we had expected, mostly because Tobin jumped from one rock to the next like a fucking mountain goat. It makes sense to me now how Tobin had climbed that hill so quickly this morning.

 

_Can we go on a hike tomorrow morning?_ Tobin flashes at me once we’re inside and Dylan and Ava are making us grilled chicken sandwiches.

 

“Yeah I’m sure everyone will want to go on another hike in the morning.” I tell her as I reach for a potato chip, but Tobin shakes her head before writing something else down.

 

_No I meant us. As awesome as your cousins are, I want to spend some time with you._

 

My heart begins to beat faster as I read over Tobin’s messy handwriting quickly. I look up to see that Tobin is looking at me with slightly pleading eyes, and I nod my head, a smile making it’s way to my face. Tobin smiles right back at me, and it blows me away how someone who from an outsiders view, can look miserable most of the time, truly has one of the most beautiful and contagious smile I’ve ever seen.

 

_Awesome, we’re going to have to wake up early so we can sneak out without being seen._ She writes down, squeezing my hand to show how pleased she is, before turning to annihilate the chicken sandwich Dylan had just slid in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any questions, hit me up on my tumblr: WolfgangRythem


	11. A Bright Friend

I wake up to the feeling of something brushing across my nose. I crack open an eye and see that its Tobin’s hair that continuously swipes across my nose. I groan, rolling over to go back to sleep, but after a moment I feel Tobin poke me in the back.

 

“Mmm Tobin.” I mumble out, peaking my head out from under my pillow to look out the window.

 

“It’s still dark outside! I exclaim quietly, nesting back into the safety of the covers. I hear Tobin let out a disgruntled exhale as she nudges my back again. I lower the blankets to my nose, only allowing my eyes to show. I find Tobin hovering above me, her face contorted into possibly the cutest pout I had ever seen. I let out a long drawn out sigh before pushing the covers off of me.

 

“Fineeeee. Lets go hike at this ungodly hour.” I grumble and she smiles brightly at how easily I had caved. She jumps off the bed, quivering in excitement, and I notice that she’s already dressed in her hiking gear.

 

“Dear god what time did you get up this morning?” I ask her and she holds up 4 fingers.

 

“You’re absolutely insane.” I mumble out sleepily, pulling off my sleep shirt to put my thermal long sleeve on without even thinking about it. However, blood rushes to my face and wakes me up immediately when I hear Tobin’s sharp intake of breath from right behind me. I quickly throw on the rest of my clothes and turn to see Tobin studying her shoes intensely as she blushes furiously.

 

“Let me grab a granola bar and then we can head out.” I tell her softly and she nods her head as she makes her way out of the room.

 

I grab a Clif bar from the kitchen and go out the back door to see Tobin basically hopping in anticipation. We start down a different path then the one we took yesterday, going East instead of West.

 

Thirty minutes into the hike, I can feel Tobin restraining herself to keep in step with me. The altitude starts to affect me, but Tobin is breathing as if we weren’t thousands of feet above sea level.

 

“You know, I thought I was the athlete here.” I huff, out of breath from trying to keep up with Tobin’s grueling pace. She smiles at me and her eyes go wide when she spots something ahead of us. She points to the huge rock wall in front of us that is at least twenty-five feet high before motioning to herself.

 

“What? You want to climb that?” I ask and she nods her head in excitement.

 

“No way you can climb that! Its straight up and like 3 stories high! I exclaim and Tobin pulls out her notebook from her backpack.

 

_If I climb that, will you go somewhere with me?_ She shows me and it makes me pause. Tobin’s face seems to be a mixture of hesitation and scared, but there is also something else in her expression that I cant place. Taking my silence as a refusal she writes something down quickly.

 

_Sorry I was out of line, that was stupid._ I read while she bends over to tie her shoe.

 

“I don’t think it’s stupid. I would go anywhere with you.” I whisper.

 

Happiness crosses her face prior to pure determination taking over it. She stoops down, coating her hands in dust before puffing out her chest as she surveys the wall, her eyes rapidly observing it. She makes her way to the wall, hesitating where to put her hands and feet at first. As soon as she has a sturdy foothold, she launches herself up the wall.

 

My jaw drops as I watch her thin frame move up the vertical wall like a spider. At one point, about twenty feet up, Tobin loses her grip and slips. I let out a shrill scream, my hands flying up to my mouth in horror, but Tobin catches herself before my scream has even ended, only dropping an inch or two. She scrambles up the last few feet of the wall, struggling to lift herself up over the ledge.

 

When she reaches the top, she looks down at me, raising her hands in victory while I laugh. Tobin stands at the top for only a moment more, taking in the scenery, before climbing down at a terrifying rate. She drops to the ground while still six feet up in the air, rolling when she hits the ground with the grace of a cat. She hops up smiling brightly, her eyes wide with adrenaline and joy.

 

“How did you do that?” I ask in astonishment.

 

_I used to go rock climbing with Jeff every weekend, it was kind of our thing._ She explains to me.

 

“Well that explains why you’re so fucking agile!” I say, looking back up at the wall Tobin had just scaled.

 

“So. Where are you gonna take me?” I ask softly, still gazing at the wall. I glance over to Tobin shrugs her shoulders.

 

“You don’t know?” I chuckle out.

 

_I hadn’t gotten that far yet, didn’t think you would say yes._ Tobin writes, looking at me shyly.

 

“I’ll always say yes.” I tell her, gently smiling before continuing our way up the path.

 

A few seconds go by until I hear Tobin jogging to catch up with me. Out of the corner of my eye I see Tobin walking with a pep in her step and a huge grin on her face.

 

We reach the end of our hike right as the sun is peaking over the far away mountain. Tobin finds a good rock to lean against and we enjoy the sunrise together. When the stone beneath us becomes too cold and after hearing Tobin’s stomach grumble a third time, we decide to head back.

 

We get to the cabin at an early enough time that only my Mimi is on the porch with her cup of coffee and crossword puzzle.

 

“Good morning Mimi.” I say, skipping over and placing a kiss on top of her head.

 

“Good morning honey! I didn’t get the chance to talk to you much yesterday, sit down and humor your Mimi.” She says, patting the spot next to her on the love seat. Tobin hesitates before slowly sitting down in the chair across from us.

 

“Mimi I don’t think I introduced the two of you, this is my good friend Tobin.” I inform her.

 

“Nice to meet you dear. Tobin? That’s quite the original name.” She comments and Tobin gives a small smile as she nods her head.

 

“So Tobin, tell me about yourself. Alex here usually doesn’t bring friends to family vacations so you must be something special.” Tobin blushes at my Mimi’s statement and looks at me smiling slightly.

 

“Um Mimi, Tobin is actually mute so the only way she can respond to your questions is by writing in her notebook.” I tell my Mimi and Tobin waves her notebook in the air to prove her point.

 

“ Really?” Have you always been mute?” She asks and I watch as Tobin shakes her head and motions to the long thin scar on her neck.

 

“Car accident.” I chime in so Tobin wouldn’t have to explain what really had caused her loss of speech, and she glances at me with relief in her eyes. Mimi hesitates for only a moment, eyes squinting slightly before responding.

 

“Oh dear I’m so sorry to hear that.” She says, reaching over and placing her hands on top of Tobin’s. My mom pops her head out of the front door at that moment, speaking to Mimi but stopping when she sees Tobin and I.

 

“Hey Mom do you- oh good morning Tobin and Alex! Actually this is perfect, Alex I need your help cooking breakfast.”

 

“I was gonna help Mimi with her crossword puzzle.” I tell my mom, not really wanting to cook for 20 people.

 

“Oh no you go help your mother, Tobin will help me with my crossword.” My Mimi says. I look over to Tobin, silently asking her if she was ok with that, and Tobin nods her head. I let out a disgruntled sigh, dragging my feet dramatically behind me as I walk inside to help my mom.

 

From my spot at the stove, I can catch glimpses of Tobin sitting with my Mimi, both hunched over the crossword puzzle. Two pounds of bacon and sixty pancakes later, I walk out onto the porch with a tray full of pancakes, bacon and orange juice. Tobin does ever glance at the food I set down in front of her because she is so consumed with the puzzle.

 

“Your friend is extremely bright Alex. She’s almost finished the entire puzzle in the time that you were gone.” Mimi says, looking up at me with an impressed expression. I look down at Tobin and notice how she’s got the tip of her tongue sticking out, her forehead scrunched in concentration. Her expression clears as she scribbles down an eleven-letter word.

 

“Oh good one Tobin! I never would have gotten herpetology.” Mimi exclaims, putting a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “She’s a bright one, much better then some of your other airhead friends, keep her close.” Tobin glances up at me, slightly embarrassed at my Mimi’s compliments.

 

Her eyes widen when she sees the plate of food in front of her. She places down the crossword and quickly reaches out, and I frown when I see her pick up the plate that only had a single pancake on it.

 

“No Tobin, this one is yours.” I tell her, handing her the plate that has four pancakes, three pieces of bacon, and a cup of strawberries on it. I see Tobin hesitate and know without her saying anything that she feels as if she is being a hindrance.

“Mimi doesn’t eat much, she only eats one pancake.” I explain. Tobin nods her head in agreement as she takes the plate out of my extended hand.

 

She inhales her food, even eating off of my plate when I grow too full. After we’re done eating, Tobin collects our plates and brings them inside.

 

“Alex.” I hear my Mimi say softly, pulling my attention from where I had just watched Tobin disappear.

 

“What really happened to Tobin?” She asks and I sit their frozen, seeing my hesitation she continues.

 

“Its hard not to notice that she’s covered in scars. The scars on the rest of her body are clean and precise, those aren’t from a car crash.” My mouth opens and closes as I try to think of an answer, but before I can say anything Dylan, Ava, and Tobin come outside.

 

“Alex dear will you come take a look at the backyard with me, I’m thinking of starting a garden this summer.” Mimi says, standing while giving me a look that I knew I couldn’t refuse. I smile at Tobin who returns the action as I follow my Mimi down the stairs of the porch.

 

As we walk, she links our arms together, enjoying the early morning light in silence. Once we’re far enough away from the porch, Mimi breaks her silence.

 

“So what really happened to your bright friend.”

 

I take a deep breath, thinking of how to go about this conversation, deciding its best to just start from the beginning. I tell Mimi everything. From the first time I had seen Tobin, to our first conversation, the way she had saved my life with the shooter, and the way I had held her night as she tried to control her nightmares. My Mimi remains quiet while I speak, a pensive expression on her face.

 

“Your mother told me the bare minimum when I asked her who this Tobin was that was always at your house, I never imagined her life would be this difficult. No one should have to go through such a traumatic event, especially at such a young age. She’s special for being able to endure something like that.” She says softly as we continue our walk around the property.

 

“She’s very special to me.” I say quietly.

 

“I know, I can tell Alex dear. Mimi sees all.” She says with a slight smile on her face, leading us back to the porch. When we reach the house, Tobin turns her head, stopping her conversation with Ava, and smiles widely, turning her full attention on me as Mimi and I sit back in our spots.

 

The rest of the afternoon is spent with playing pool inside, everyone wanting to relax after the long day yesterday.

 

When it comes to dinnertime, the whole family sits at the large dining table, Tobin in the middle with Dylan and I on either side of her and Ava and Kenzie across from us. I convince Tobin to drink wine with me, stating that it would be a crime to not have a glass of wine or two with our meal. Tobin hesitates at first, but drinks it when she taste how sweet the wine is.

 

The table is rambunctious as everyone is enjoying one another’s company along with the food and wine. Even Tobin is smiling at everyone and chuckling silently next to me, her contagious smile on full display.

 

“Tobin dear, I’m just curious, how long have you been mute for?” My Aunt Cathy asks in the nicest possible tone.

 

Tobin pulls out her notebook to respond, but before she can, Kenzie answers for her.

 

“She’s been mute ever since she killed her brother like two years ago.” Kenzie says and the previously high-spirited table goes deadly silent as their attention focuses on Tobin who has turned white.

 

“Kenzie.” I say sharply, not believing she had just said that out loud. I can hear Tobin next to me start to hyperventilate as everyone stares at her in disbelief.

 

“What? Everyone knows that some guy tied her and cut her up like a cow and she killed her brother when she was trying to stab the guy. She’s a fucking freak.” Kenzie says, looking at Tobin with poorly hidden disgust on her face

 

Before I can say anything Tobin is pushing herself away from the table, almost running out of the room. I stand up from my seat, glowering at Kenzie.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I yell at her.

 

“You’re the one that’s friends with a murderous frea-“

 

Before she can finish the statement, I slam my palms onto the table, silencing her.

 

“You have NO idea what she’s been through! So shut up.” I sneer, shaking with rage.

 

I turn my back on her, running out of the room as ignore my mother’s calls, the only thing on my mind, finding a distraught Tobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are you guys thinking??


	12. Dylan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got this out quick to you guys this time because your comments on the last chapter were pretty awesome and made me laugh out loud a few times lol. Hope you guys enjoy!

Tobin’s POV

 

I wipe away another tear, sniffling as I hunch my shoulders to battle off the cold winter wind. Having been so upset, I ran off without grabbing a jacket, now having to deal with my reaction in the chilly winter air. I’m positive that no one would come looking for me in this spot, so I was safe from the disapproving and disappointed eyes of Alex’s family.

 

I lean my head against the railing, thinking about what happened half an hour ago. _Why can I never escape the rumors that always follow me?_ My chest heaves and anger reels through me as I think about the guy that changed my entire life. All I want to do is scream, let out a yell, something to relieve the immense amount of pressure on my chest.

 

I scream silently into the night, to the point where I don’t have any air left in my lungs. I take a deep breath, filling my lungs before letting out another yell. I scream until my lunges ache, slouching back against the railing, disappointed that I don’t feel some type of relief from my silent cries.

 

Tears roll down my face as I relive that day for what feels like the millionth time, thinking of all the different scenarios that could have occurred. _Why didn’t I go with my parents to the Portland Art Museum? Why didn’t I go with my friends to the movies? Why didn’t I go with Servando and Jeff to go pick up pizza and a video game?_

 

All of these thoughts swirl through my brain, and I slam my fist into my head, praying for them to stop. _Just fucking get over it Tobin. Nothing is changing. People are always going to say this kind of shit to you. You’re gonna be like this for the rest of your pathetic fucking life so you might as well accept it._

 

I’m about to let out another scream when I hear the trapdoor next to me open. My attention quickly turns to it, thinking Alex had finally found me, but am surprised when I see that it is Dylan. When he pops his head up, he looks at me with an unsurprised expression, leading me to believe that he somehow knew I was up here.

 

“Sup Tobs.” He says casually as he closes the trap door, leaning up against the railing next to me. Without saying another word, he pulls several things out of a backpack, laying them out in front of us: a notebook, pen, a bottle of what looks like whiskey, a little brown bag, and an extra big puffy jacket. He throws the backpack to the side, handing me the jacket, before leaning up against the balcony railing.

 

I grab the jacket slowly from his hands, putting it on to my shivering form. I reach out to the notebook and pen, beyond confused with Dylan’s presence.

 

_Why are you up here?_

 

“I had a feeling you were up here, convinced Alex you would never have come up here.” He says casually, and my eyebrows scrunch in puzzlement.

 

_Why would you do that?_

“Because, you didn’t deserve that down there. Kenzie’s a cunt.” Dylan says, reaching for the bottle of whiskey in front of us, pulling out the cork with his teeth before taking a deep swig. He wipes the back of his mouth, holding the brown liquid out to me. I look at his outstretched hand in hesitation, he shakes it a little causing me to cave in and grab it. I tip the bottle back, immediately scrunching my face at the sharp taste. I pull the bottle away, coughing violently as Dylan chuckles good-naturedly, patting my back.

 

“Good job.”

 

_Why are you here?_ I ask again once I’ve recovered from my couching fit. Dylan pauses, thinking for a moment before he responds.

 

“I know your story. The real one.” He says quietly. “I had a really good friend that was a senior at your school when it all went down, so I heard what happened. From the small amount of time that I’ve been spent with you, I know that some of the rumors that I’ve heard aren’t true.” He tells me and I nod my head accepting his answer.

 

“And I’m so sorry Tobin.” He comments after a moment of silence. “Not just for what happened to you, but for how people have reacted. For all the people who made up fucking rumors, for the fuckers that believe them, and cunts like Kenzie who don’t care that you’re a fucking human and have been through some serious shit.” He says in a low but fierce voice.

 

“So. I lied to Alex, saying that I checked if you were up here and didn’t find you, even though I had a good feeling you were here. Because you deserve a night where no one is hovering over you, worrying about you, staring at you, judging you, or any of that other crap. We’re gonna sit here, watching these beautiful stars while getting drunk, not worrying about anything. How’s that sound?” He asks and I pause, not realizing that Dylan had this kind of depth to him, before smiling and nodding my head.

 

“Good. Here you take another swig of this while I get something else ready.” He says, holding the bottle of liquor to me as he reaches for the small brown bag. I take a sip of the whiskey, still cringing at the taste, but not coughing this time. I watch Dylan, curious of what could be in the brown bag, when he pulls out a Ziploc full of what I identify as joints and a lighter.

 

He immediately takes one out, placing it in his mouth as he brings the lighter up to it, cupping his hands around the end to block out the wind. Once lit, he inhales deeply, holding in the smoke for a moment, before exhaling slowly.

 

“You ever done this before?” He asks and I shake my head quickly, frowning slightly.

 

“Pretty easy. Inhale slowly, because if you inhale too quick it’s gonna fucking burn, hold it in for a few seconds and then exhale.” He says, passing the joint to me.

 

I take the joint from his hand, doing what he said, but coughing when I try to keep the smoke in my lungs. Dylan smiles at me before reacquiring the joint and taking a deep pull. He shakes his head as I reach for it again.

 

“Woh cowboy, give it a second. Take a drink and then you can have another hit.” Dylan chuckles out.

 

Twenty minutes later, I’m leaning up against the balcony, silently laughing hysterically at a story Dylan is telling me that involve him and Ava getting attacked by a flock of swans. Once Dylan’s laughter has subsided to nothing more then a few chuckles, he turns to me, squinting his already narrow eyes at me.

 

“I can see why Alex likes you, you’re pretty awesome. Here you are, smoking weed and drinking whiskey with me late at night while we sit under the stars.” Dylan comments casually, and I lower the joint that I had raised to my lips, looking to Dylan. When Dylan realizes I’m staring at him, he throws his hands in the air.

 

“Yo I’m not saying a word, you two need to figure your own shit out.” He says.

 

I’m about to ask what he means, when I hear someone stomping up the ladder below us.

 

“Um don’t get mad or anything, but super high and drunk Dylan mightttt have texted Alex saying you were up here.” He drawls out, peeking over at me with a bashful face.

 

I don’t even have time to reach for my notebook before the trap door is thrown open, revealing a disheveled Alex. When her eyes land on me, she lets out a whimper, quickly making her way over to me. She drops to the ground, landing in my lap as she throws her arms around me and cries into my shoulder.

 

Shocked from her reaction, I turn to Dylan as I place my arms around her waist. He holds his arms in the air as he gathers his items. He leaves what is left of the bottle of whiskey next to my arm, winking at me before climbing down the still open latch door.

 

As soon as he’s gone, I tighten my grip around Alex pulling her further into me as I gently rub my hands on her shaking back.

 

“I thought you were gone. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find you.

I thought you had taken off into the night.” She cries softly into my shoulder. I pull Alex back so that I can see her, and when I do, I wish she still had her head in my shoulder.

 

Alex’s face is puffy from crying, she has tears tracking their way down her face, and her beautiful blue eyes are swollen and red. I reach a hand up, pushing her hair out of her face and behind her ears before cradling her face in my hands. Even in my intoxicated state, even with Alex looking like a total mess, I still think she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever come across.

 

“Don’t ever do that again.” She says suddenly, slapping her hand across my chest. “Do you hear me? Don’t ever run away from me again.”

 

I nod my head instantly, wanting Alex to calm down. Once her worries have been subsided, she takes a serious look down at me, tilting her head to the side.

 

“Tobin…Tobin are you drunk?” She asks me and I nod my head happily, removing a hand from her face to make the motion of smoking as well.

 

“You’re high too?!” She exclaims in shock and I smile dopily up at her, for some reason extremely pleased with myself.

 

“I’m going to kill Dylan.” Alex bends back laughing loudly into the cold night air.

 

I smile widely as Alex pushes herself back up so that she can look into my eyes as she holds back the giggles at my silly expression. She shakes her head, smiling gently down at me as she raises a hand, running it across my cheek as her face becomes serious.

 

“You are so special to me.” She whispers and I my stomach does a somersault at her statement.

 

I point to her before grabbing her hand off of my face, intertwining them, and slide it down, placing it over my beating heart. Alex closes her eyes, letting out a breath prior to leaning forward, resting her forehead against mine.

 

“I really like you Tobin.” She says so quietly, I almost don’t hear her over the wind. I clench our intertwined hands together, letting her know that I felt the same way.

 

Alex opens her eyes, staring deeply into mine, before letting them drop to my lips. I instantly run my tongue over my bottom lip out of instinct, my own eyes dropping to Alex’s. Her unoccupied hand softly cups my jaw, tilting it up slightly as my breathing starts to become erratic.

 

“Do you trust me?” She mumbles shakily, her lips so close to mine that I can feel her warm breath. I nod my head slowly.

 

She hesitates for a moment more, staring into my eyes, before closing the last few inches between us, placing her lips on mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else is liking this Thanksgiving break trip??


	13. Are You Ok?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me for my absence

Alex’s POV

 

The first thing I notice is how soft Tobin’s lips are. They are soft, even though they are a little chapped from the cold air, and fit perfectly against mine. I pull back slightly, still within an inch of each other, and I hear Tobin take in a shallow breath. I lean in again, placing my lips gently on Tobin’s shaking ones.

 

This time I taste the whiskey on her breath, and I inhale the intoxicating mixture of the sharp flavor of whiskey and Tobin. I move my lips against hers hesitantly at first, but become more confident when Tobin slowly responds. Tobin’s hands move to my waist, hands just grazing my skin.

 

I back away and lean forward, resting my head against hers. I wrap my arms around Tobin and notice Tobin is breathing hard and her body is trembling. I place my hands on either side of her face and look into her eyes.

 

“Are you ok?” I ask and she nods her head immediately, still breathing heavily.

 

“Are you ok with what just happened?” I whisper and Tobin swallows as she nods her head again.

 

I glance down and make eye contact with Tobin before moving in once again. I kiss her gently, just giving her small pecks. Realizing that I was still straddling Tobin, I reposition my self and slide off of Tobin’s lap, lying down flat on the deck.

 

“Come lay next to me.” I say to Tobin, patting my chest.

 

Tobin grins at me and crawls over, lying down and scooting until she was right next to me. She reaches over blindly, intertwining our fingers.

 

“The stars are so beautiful out here.” I say softly after a few moments of us staring at the constellations that are brightly gleaming above us. Tobin squeezes my hand in agreement as she begins to tub my hand with her thumb.

 

“Tobin.” I say after another five minutes of silence, and it causes Tobin to loll her head towards me.

 

“I’m really glad that I met you.” I whisper and I watch as Tobin’s jaw clenches. Suddenly Tobin pops herself up on an elbow, leans over me, and brings a hand up to cup my face.

 

She stares into my eyes and I can see how hard she is trying to communicate with me silently. I bring up my own hand, laying it along of her cheeks as I nod my head.

 

She surprises me once again as she kisses me without hesitation. I kiss her back, sighing into her at the perfect feeling of her lips on mine. She pulls away, licking her bottom lip before plopping down next to me, shivering in the cold as she buries her cold nose into my neck.

 

“Hey, you want to go to bed?” I ask her, rubbing my hands up and down her arms to try and warm her up.

 

Tobin nods her head and goes about picking up the notebook, pen, and bottle of what I had identified as Jack Daniels.

 

“Tobin how about we just leave that here.” I tell her, taking the bottle of whiskey out of her hands and placing it in the corner.

 

I don’t realize how drunk Tobin is until I see her try and make her way down the ladder after me. She misses a step completely and almost falls down the ladder, but I quickly put my hands on her back to keep her from topping over.

 

We get to our room without waking anyone up by some miracle, because Tobin tripped several times along the way.

 

Whenever we are in the room, Tobin immediately begins stripping off her clothes, and I blush furiously when Tobin strips off her shirt revealing her thin but toned frame. My breath catches in my throat when Tobin turns around, revealing her back that is filled with scars. I’ve now seen Tobin with her shirt off twice, and the amount of cuts on her surprises me just as much as it did the first time, wondering how someone could endure all of it.

 

I burst into laughter mid-thought when Tobin goes to take off her jeans and falls over when her feet get stuck and she trips. I bend over, my hands covering my stomach and mouth as I laugh hysterically.

 

Tobin flips me off as she drunkenly tries to get her feet out of her jeans. She gives up after fighting with them and lies down on the ground with a large huff. I laugh even harder at Tobin as she lies on the floor in just her sports bra and underwear with her jeans pooled around her ankles.

 

Taking pity on her, I make my way over, chuckling as I take off her Vans and socks before sliding off her jeans, the only response I get from Tobin is a soft grunt. I sigh and go to help Tobin up, and lay her down on the bed. I turn around grabbing some sleeping clothes for Tobin, but when I look back, Tobin is already under the covers.

 

She is grinning goofily up at me, pulling my side of the sheets up in invitation for me to join her. Caving easily, I climb into bed next to her. Almost instantly, Tobin is halfway on top of me and I break out into goose bumps due to the combination of Tobin’s breath on my neck and her almost naked body.

 

Tobin gives me two small kisses to my neck, sighing as she snuggles closer into me.

 

“Tobin.” I call out softly into the darkness and I hear her let out a huff of air response.

 

“You’ll be ok with this in the morning when you’re not drunk right?” I ask quietly, my heart pounding in my chest as I voice my fear of Tobin rejecting me in the morning when she’s sober.

 

Tobin abruptly rolls over, and I see her lanky limbs go flying as she falls out of the bed with a large thud. I hear her groan as she stands up sharply, tripping over her feet as she looks through her jacket pocket. She pulls out her notepad and pen triumphantly and drunkenly makes her way back to me.

 

The room is bright with the moonlight shining in through the window so there is no need for me to turn on the lamp.

 

_I don’t think you realize how special you are to me._

 

I open my mouth to say something but Tobin puts her finger on my lips as she continues to write on the notepad.

 

 

_Seriously, I cant put it into words or explain what it means to have someone like you in my life and that you don’t care that I cant talk or what happened in my past or what other people think of me._

Tobin shows me and I’ve barely finished reading the last line when I feel her hands tangle into my air, pulling me into a searing kiss. I gasp sharply, completely unprepared with the amount of passion that Tobin is putting into the kiss.

 

Her lips are hard against mine, one hand interwoven in my hair, holding me close, while her other finds my hip. I kiss back hard, lacing my own hand through her hair. When breathing becomes difficult, I pull away, biting her lip before making my way down to her neck.

 

As I kiss her neck I can hear Tobin’s breath go ragged. I kiss and nip my way up to her ear. I lightly run my tongue along the shell of her ear, and Tobin lets out a loud drawn out breath, that I assume would be a moan if she could speak, and grips my hip hard. Taking matters into my own hands I grab Tobin and quickly roll her over to where I’m pinning her down.

I immediately feel Tobin’s entire body go stiff under me and look to see her jaw and eyes are clenched shut. I jump off of Tobin, lying down next to her and grab one of her hands in two of mine.

 

“I’m sorry Tobin, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that so quickly.” I apologize profusely.

 

Tobin’s breathes deeply through her nose and I watch as the muscles in Tobin’s jaw contract. She sits up, putting the palms of her hands into her eyes and moving so that her head is in between her knees.

 

I sit up next to her, unsure of what to do as she takes in several deep breaths. She takes in four more large breaths before reaching for her notepad at the end of the bed.

 

_I’m sorry_

“Wait why are you sorry?” I ask confused.

 

_I’m sorry that I can’t even kiss you without my head fucking it up.”_ She looks at me sadly.

 

“Tobin.” I say and Tobin continues to fidget with her fingers.

 

“Tobin look at me.” I command softly causing Tobin to look up at me where I notice her eyes are filled with unshed tears.

 

I pull her body on top of mine, lying down on the bed with Tobin’s head on my chest. She takes a few shuddering before wrapping her arms around me. She begins hiccupping and I let out a small chuckle, remembering that Tobin is still very drunk.

 

“Go to sleep Tobin, I’ll be here in the morning.” I whisper into her ear, placing a kiss on top of her head.

 

I lay my head back on my pillow, smiling up at the ceiling before squeezing Tobin closer to me and closing my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry it took this long to get out, had a lot of crazy things going on the last few weeks!


	14. Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *patiently waiting on my couch for people with pitchforks and torches to arrive.*

Tobin’s POV

 

I’m running through the parking lot and up the stairs of school as fast as I can, soaked from the morning storm. I’m a few minutes late to first period because I had forgotten my skateboard at Alex’s house the previous night and my phone is dead, meaning I had to run and walk to school.

 

When I walk in through the doors, I take my hat off, running my fingers through my dripping wet hair. I notice that no one is occupying the hall and I curse to myself as I increase my walking speed. As my wet shoes squeak down the empty hallway while making my way to my locker, I think about how amazing my Thanksgiving break had been the morning after drinking with Dylan.

 

_I wake up, scrunching my eyes at the bright light that is shining in through the window, and internally groan when I feel the light pounding in my head. My lips smack together and I try to move my tongue around in my extremely dry mouth. Tousling my hair with one hand, I like to my right and see Alex curled into my side._

_My heart begins to beat faster as I think about what occurred between the two of us the previous night. I run my fingers over my lips, wondering if what happened last night was a dream. I lean over, silently observing Alex in the morning light, not believing how beautiful she is._

_I reach out with shaking hands, and ghost my fingertips along her bottom lip. My gaze raises to her eyes and I jump when I see that her bright blue eyes are staring at me._

_“Good morning.” She husks out, her voice still heavy with sleep._

_I give a little wave and she smiles back at me as she readjusts herself so that she can sit up next to me._

_“How do you feel this morning?”_

_I wiggle my hand and point to my head as I make a motion that its kind of pounding and Alex giggles at me._

_“That’s not surprising, you and Dylan drank quite a lot last night.” She chuckles and then grows silent as she fiddles with her hands in her lap. Feeling awkward, I turn my attention to the comforter, tracing out the patterns woven into it._

_“Tobin…do you, do you remember everything from last night?” Alex asks quietly, not looking up at me as she speaks._

_I wait for her to look up at me before I nod my head carefully._

_“And um how do you feel about what happened last night?” She slowly inquires, looking up at me through her eyelashes._

_I bob my head nervously, unsure and honestly a bit terrified at how Alex would react to what happened the night before._

_“So you are ok with us kissing?”_

_At her question, my cheeks flush red as I clench my jaw and give her a minute nod. At my answer, Alex lets out a breath and smiles brightly at me, causing me to grin right back at her._

_I hold up my finger and look around for my notepad and see that its on the ground. I push the covers off of me, and hop out of bed. My already red face becomes scarlet when I realize I’m only in my underwear and bra. Immediately I cross the room to my bag and pull out sweatpants and a t-shirt, throwing it on as quickly as I can. I look over my shoulder and see that Alex is staring down at the comforter in concentration, assuring me that she is just as embarrassed as I am._

_I pickup the notepad and make my way back into bed, settling against the pillows._

**_What about Brian?_ ** _I write down, showing the page to Alex who pauses before answering._

_“I don’t want to be with him anymore, he’s not the guy I met a year ago, and he’s not the person I want to be with.” She informs me. With shaking hands I write out my next sentence._

**_And who do you want to be with?_ **

_Alex sits up in bed, placing a hand on my left cheek as she looks deeply into my eyes. She leans in until her face is only a few inches a way from mine, and the proximity makes my breathing become a little harder._

_“I want you.” She whispers to me before closing the distance between us, placing her lips on mine._

_I thought last night was amazing; being sober kissing Alex took my breath away. I raise a hand, placing it over her hand that was on my cheek as I kiss her back._

_After a moment we break apart, gazing into each other’s eyes, no words needed. Somehow I had been blessed to have this girl in my life, someone who could understand me without having to utter a single word._

**_So what are you going to do about Brian?_ ** _I ask after we had broken our intimate moment of silence._

_“I’m going to break up with him when we get back.” Alex says as she traces the outline of my hands._

**_Really?_ **

_“Really.” Alex says to me with a small smile._

**_Ok._ ** _I mouth back to her, a wide grin forming on my face._

I have a smile on my face as I go over everything that happened the rest of the trip, continuing my way down the hall.

 

I drop my backpack to the ground as I punch in the code to my locker. As I unlock it, I hear several hurried footsteps behind me. I turn, my eyes going wide when I see Alex’s boyfriend Brian and another guy stop in front of me.

 

“You know, you really shouldn’t mess with a man’s girl.” Brain says to me quietly before looking at his friend and nodding his head.

 

Suddenly I feel two arms around me, picking up my small body easily. I struggle against the huge guy, but he handles my sporadic movements easily as he presses me up against the wall of lockers extending one of my arms out. My breathing becomes sporadic as I have flashbacks to my attack, feeling completely feeble and weak.

 

Brian takes my hand and places it on the edge of my open locker. He looks around to make sure no teachers are around before slamming my locker door again my hand hard.

 

I let out a silent scream and try to move my hand, but the huge guy behind me keeps my arm from moving. Brian adjusts my arm so that all of my fingers are along the edge of my locker before once again slamming the locker door hard.

 

I bite my lip as tears stream down my face, and I can hear Brian chuckle in my ear.

 

“The best thing is, is that no one can hear you scream. Alright switch arms Joey.” He says causing the guy to drop my arm, that goes limp at my side, and grab my other arm, lining it up. Brian does the same to my left hand, but adds an extra slam to my fingers.

 

As soon as the act is done, I fall to the ground, clutching my hands to my chest. Brian bends down into my face and I flinch away, closing my eyes.

 

“That should keep you from writing notes to Alex.” He says, swatting at my hands and I scream internally at the extreme pain.

 

“Stay away from my girl or it’ll be worse next time.” Brain threatens before slamming my head against the locker causing me to see stars. The pair walk away, leaving me crouched over my shattered hands.

 

I look down at my shaking hands and note that my fingers are already swelling. It looks like a lot of blood vessels had been popped, along with the skin on the back of my hands being cut from the impact of the locker.

 

I lean my head back against the lockers, closing my eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks as I try to avoid thinking about my throbbing hands.

 

_Fuck._

 

I grit my teeth together, wiping my tears off on my shoulder as I stand. I hook my backpack through my arm and shrug it onto my shoulder. I go to grab my phone out of my pocket but stop when I realize I cant move any of my fingers.

 

_FUCK._ I think to myself again.

 

I kick the nearest locker, crying as I think about what I’m supposed to do now. Not wanting to face anyone, especially Alex and Servando, I make my way outside. I cradle my hands to my chest as I walk home through the icy rain once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts...?


	15. Something Happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys!

Alex’s POV

 

On Monday, I notice that Tobin is not in any of her classes, or even on school property it seems. I become even more worried when Tobin doesn’t respond to any of my text. I’m on the verge of freaking out when Tobin doesn’t show up to dinner at my house that night. I hardly touch my dinner as I constantly look at my phone and then the door, hoping the Tobin would bursts in, apologizing for being late.

 

Even my mom seems worries when I tell her about Tobin’s absence today. She convinces me that Tobin is probably fine and maybe just slept through her alarm or her phone broke. I barely get any sleep that night, twisting and turning in my bed as I think about where Tobin might have been today.

 

Tuesday morning I’m running late due to the lack of sleep last night. I run into my calculus class, and breathe a sigh of relief when I see Tobin sitting in her normal seat. I hurry over to my chair, throwing my backpack to the ground and turning with a smile on my face but it drops when I see Tobin.

 

She is actively avoiding my eyes, staring down at the book in front of her.

 

“Tobin?” I say unsure of what is wrong with her, and I watch as her jaw clenches when I say her name.

 

“Tobin what’s wrong?” I ask reaching to put my hand on hers without taking my eyes off her face.

 

She inhales sharply, pulling away her hands immediately and bringing them to her chest. I look down at her hands and gasp in horror at the state of them. Her hands are swollen and have a deep maroon color to them, with caked blood across the back of her hands.

 

“Tobin what the fuck happened to your hands?!” I whisper loudly in shock as I stare at them while Tobin continues to avoid eye contact with me.

 

“Tobin.” I say aggressively, putting a hand on her shoulder to force her to look at me.

 

I inhale when she stare at me, the area around her right eye swollen and bruised, a small bloody cut above her eyebrow.

 

“Tobin…” I let the statement hand as my eyes flicker over her condition.

 

I observe the brokenness in her eyes and the way her jaw trembles before turning her attention to the front of the class. I open my mouth to say something but the teacher begins the lecture and I begrudgingly turn my attention to the front of the class, watching Tobin out of the corner of my eye the entire time.

 

Tobin bolts out of class before I even have the chance to turn in my desk towards her. I hurry after her, but lose her quickly in the crowded hallway. Frustrated and worried, I make my way to the next class.

 

Tobin doesn’t show up for Art.

 

Tobin doesn’t show up for dinner.

 

I want to go out and look for her but my mom wont let me leave because it’s snowing heavily outside. I hardly get any sleep, my mind going through all the possibilities of what possibly could have happened to Tobin.

 

The next morning I let out a huff when I step outside and see a fresh four inches of snow on the ground. Tobin doesn’t come to calculus and after class I storm into the parking lot, not caring about the other seven hours of school I have left.

 

I speed to Tobin’s street, coming to a slipping stop in the snow in front of her house. I stomp through the snow up to her trailer and try the doorknob, surprised to find it unlocked.

 

I walk in slowly and the first thing I notice is that it’s only a few degrees warmer inside then it was outside. I pull my coat closer to myself as I shiver, watching little puffs of white mist come from my mouth.

 

“Tobin?” I call out but of course get no response.

 

I make my way through the trailer, noting the empty liquor bottles on the counter and rub my hands together for warmth. I get to the back of the trailer, no trace of Tobin in sight when I hear a slight buzzing coming from a closed door on my right. I open the door slowly, and feel slightly warmer air hit my frozen nose.

 

I immediately see Tobin under what looks like three thin blankets, passed out, with a small heater only inches away from her face. The three items that are inside of her tiny room are covered in dew as the tiny heater battles with the frigid air in the trailer and outside.

 

I sit on the corner of her bed, taking in her appearance. Her rather chapped lips are open as she takes in shallow breaths, and her hair is stuck to her forehead that looks damp with sweat. I wipe her hair off of her face, careful to avoid the bruised area around her eye, and gasp at how hot her forehead is.

 

I look closer and notice how flushed Tobin’s cheeks are, and look down to see that Tobin’s sweatshirt seems to be soaked in sweat. I stand, looking for something to change Tobin into and notice what I think are most of Tobin’s clothes piled into a corner on the floor. I glance back at Tobin before leaving the room, searching for something to put her dirty clothes in.

 

I end up finding a lone trash bag under the sink, and I make my way back to Tobin’s room, tripping over one of the many empty beer cans that were scattered over the floor. I throw Tobin’s clothes into the bag, blushing slightly as I pick up Tobin’s bra and underwear.

 

I pickup the unsurprisingly light bag and carry it to my car. I walk back into Tobin’s room, shaking my head at the only minor difference in the temperature. I find Tobin in the same place, having not moved an inch. I kneel in front of her so that we are eye to eye, and begin stroking her face gently.

 

“Tobin. Tobin wake up.” I softly say and see Tobin’s eyelids flutter and she scrunches her eyes closed again.

 

“Tobin come on please.” I say, rubbing her shoulder now.

 

This time, Tobin cracks open her eye that isn’t bruised, and it opens fully when she sees me only inches away. She tries to pick up her head, but exhales sharply at the effort, and lays it back on the pillow.

 

“Hey.” I whisper after a moment of us staring at one another

 

_Hi_ she mouths back.

 

My eyes travel to the bruise on the side of her face, and when my eyes return to her dazed one, I see that she has a slightly defensive expression.

 

“You don’t have to tell me what happened to you right now ok? But you’re coming home with me.” I say and when I finish she shakes her head.

 

“Tobin you’re sick as a dog.” I say and she starts to shake her head again, but starts coughing intensely.

 

I give her a look before standing and taking off my warm parka jacket. I shiver as the cold air hits my warm torso, but don’t even think twice about it as I realize how cold T must be. I pull away the covers and take in Tobin’s drenched sweatshirt. I start to put my parka on her but stop when I see how swollen her hands are.

 

With my arms around her waist, I help her stand up. She sways slightly and I take on the majority of her weight as she leans heavily into me. I wrap my parka around her shoulders, and pull my beanie off, putting it on her own head.

 

I lead her outside slowly, and it takes a few tries but I get her into my car. I crank up the heat as soon as I’ in the driver seat. I glance over at Tobin as I’m driving and my heart drops as I see that she has her head against the widow, eyes closed, with her swollen bruised hands cradled in her lap.

 

We arrive home and I let out a sigh of relief when I see that my mom’s car is missing from the driveway. I get Tobin into the house rather successfully, only slipping on the snow once. I take a deep breath as I steady Tobin before beginning the trek upstairs to my room.

 

After a ten-minute struggle of me basically carrying Tobin up the stairs because she’s so weak, I finally lay her down on my bed. Her head instantly snuggles into my pillow, and I’m pretty sure she’s asleep within a minute.

 

“What is going on with you Tobin, who did this to you?” I whisper, stroking her hair.

 

I lean over, placing such a light kiss on her lips that she wouldn’t feel it even if she weren’t sick, before standing and leaving the room.

The first thing I do is run down the stairs and grab the trash bag of clothes from my car. After putting them in the wash, I make my way to the kitchen, placing my hands on my hips as I decide what to cook.

 

As I look through the contents of the cabinet, I wonder when was the last time Tobin has eaten since she hadn’t been over for dinner the past two nights. Once I rummage through the cabinets and fridge, I come to the conclusion that the only thing I’ll be able to cooks without poisoning Tobin is scrambled eggs and toast.

 

I make the eggs and toast quickly, pouring a glass of orange juice for her as well. I make a quick stop at the cabinet we keep our medicine in, grabbing everything I thought could help Tobin.

 

I balance all of the items carefully as I go up the stairs back to my room. I set the plate and glass of orange juice next to my bed as I wake Tobin gently. She does so, sleepily rolling over to look up at me.

 

“I brought you some eggs and toast, are you hungry?” I ask and she nods her head, her eyes moving instantly to the plate in my hand.

 

I go to hand the plate and fork to Tobin but freeze when I realize she can’t hold the plate much less pick up the fork with her hands in the state they are in. I bite my lip and scoot closer to Tobin, scooping up a forkful of eggs and bringing it to Tobin’s lips. Tobin hesitates for only a moment before, what I assume is her extreme hunger wins, and she opens her mouth, allowing me to feed her. We sit in comfortable silence as I feed Tobin, occasionally giving her sips of OJ. I wipe away at the crumbs on Tobin’s lips when she’s finished her last bite of toast.

 

“Tobin, did you eat yesterday?” I ask lightly and her eyes meet mine as she slowly shakes her head.

 

“Did you eat Monday?” I imploringly ask and she shakes her head again.

 

“Was Sunday dinner with us on the ride back the last time you ate?” I inquire and Tobin just stares at me, embarrassment crossing my face. I take a in a deep breath, turning to the medicine on the nightstand so that Tobin wouldn’t see my face.

 

“I-I’ve got some medicine for you as well.” I choke out past the lump in my throat.

 

“This one is for your fever, this one is for your cough, and this one is for your hands.” I explain to her and she sluggishly nods her head.

 

I reach out, holding the pill between two of my fingers and Tobin opens her mouth slowly. We maintain eye contact as I place the pill into her mouth, and I draw in a quick breath when her tongue comes into contact with my fingers.

 

With shaky fingers, I feed her the next two pills, letting her wash it down with the rest of the orange juice. She licks the remaining drops of orange juice on her bottom lip and I find myself staring at the actions as I lick my own lips.

 

The room suddenly seems to be scorching hot, and I shoot off the bed, needing to be away from those whiskey colored eyes, before I did something.

 

“I um, I’m just gonna go wash the dishes and put your clothes in the dryer.” I manage to get out, quickly making my way out of the room.

 

I’m washing the pan I had cooked eggs in when I hear the front door open. My mom walks in, her arms full of groceries, and both of us freeze at the sight of one another.

 

“Alex why aren’t you at school?!” My mom demands to know.

 

My mouth opens and closes, my jaw trembling and eyes watering as the last few hours hit me. I rush over to my mom, throwing my arms around her as tears start to make their way down my cheek.

 

“Something happened. Mom something happened to Tobin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you guys think!


	16. Room 610

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait guys! Seriously sorry. My life has been pretty hectic the last couple of months and truly haven't had time to sit down and write. Hopefully able to get a few chapters out to you guys now!

I drag my mom up the stairs without a word while she peppers me with questions the entire journey up. I open the door and step to the side, revealing Tobin who is passed out and sweating profusely again. I look over to my mom who has raised one of her hands to cover her slack jawed expression.

 

“Alex…. what happened to her?” she whispers out. She steps closer, observing Tobin’s condition, and lets out a loud gasp when she spots Tobin’s hands.

 

She stares for a moment more before rushing out of the room. Confused I follow after her. I find her down the hallway, rummaging through the closet.

 

“What are you doing mom?”

 

“I’m finding a coat and taking that child to go see your father at the hospital. She says, pulling out an old large coat.

 

I hurry over to my mother and give her another vice like hug.

 

“Since she doesn’t have one, we are going to be her family ok?” She confirms with me and I nod my head.

 

“Lets get our girl then.” She says, leading me back to my room.

 

I go to the head of the bed while my mom attempts to put shoes on Tobin’s lifeless feet.

 

“Tobin, hey Tobin.” I say, gently running my hands over her face, removing the stray hairs away from her clammy forehead. One of her eyes crack open, and she lets out a sigh as she closes them again.

 

“Tobin, you gotta sit up for me ok?” I say, wrapping my arms around her as I begin to sit her up, causing her to start wheezing in the process.

 

“Mom help me get her up.” I grunt out as I work on getting Tobin out of bed.

 

We both grab Tobin by her armpits, hoisting her up tenderly, and I hold on to her tightly as she sways on her feet. My mom moves to put the coat on to Tobin, but I reach out to stop her, motioning to Tobin’s bruised swollen hands. My mom opens her mouth to say something, but shakily closes it without a word as she wraps the coat around Tobin’s shoulders.

 

It takes us a good few minutes to get Tobin down the stairs and into the car, but once we do my mom is speeding down the street as fast as she can in the falling snow. I sit in the back seat with Tobin, my arms wrapped around her with Tobin’s nose in my neck, allowing me to hear her shallow breathing.

 

“Mom.” I look up to her with teary eyes, biting my lip to try and keep them at bay.

 

“I know honey, I know.” She says, and I feel the car accelerate under me.

 

My mom pulls up to the front entrance of the hospital; my dad is already outside, dressed in his whites, a wheelchair in front of him. When we pull to a stop, my dad opens the door and breathes in deeply through his nose before breaking into action.

 

“Alex baby I need you to help scoot Tobin towards me. Yes just like tha-don’t let her hands bump into the backseat!” He instructs me as we slowly maneuver a sluggish Tobin out of the car and into the wheelchair.

 

“Pam, take Alex up to my office, the both of you can wait there while we get go get x-rays of these hands.” He says, already pushing Tobin through the doors.

 

I watch as my dad wheels Tobin away, only moving when my mom calls my name so that we could park the car. Once in my dad’s office, I cant stop my knee from jiggling as I count the minutes that pass by since my Tobin went into my dad’s possession. I know I have nothing to worry about, my dad is one of the best orthopedic surgeons in Oregon, but I can’t help it. When the clock reminds me that 4 hours have gone by, I cant take it any longer.

 

“Mom can’t you please call him or something??” I ask desperately.

 

“Honey you know I cant do that. Tobin will be fine, your father is taking care of her.” She says as she answers her phone, walking to the corner of the office.

 

Just as I’m about to stand and walk out the door, my dad walks in.

 

“Dad is Tobin ok?? How is she? What took so long?” I barrage him and he runs his hands over his tired face as he tries to calm me down.

 

“Tobin will be ok. We’ve got her hooked up to an IV and are pumping antibiotics into her system. She had a severe case of pneumonia, looks like she’s had it for a little while but has been pushing through it. She’s going to have to spend the night in the hospital and I’ve already got a prescription written up for her and filled out. Her pneumonia should be completely cleared out within a few weeks and will be feeling better within a few days.” He informs me.

 

“What about her hands?” I ask quickly causing him to sigh again.

 

“Alex do you have any idea what happened to them?” He questions me.

 

“Tobin hasn’t told me, I mean she can’t exactly write at the moment. What’s wrong with them?” I ask, impatient to know the rest of Tobin’s injuries

 

“It looks like her hands were damaged through blunt force, especially with that nasty bruise she’s got over her eyebrow. Meaning she somehow got them stuck into something that crushed them or rolled over them, but with the deep cuts on the back of her hands, it looks as if something or someone slammed her hands. Her right will be ok, the swelling will go down in a week or so, her left hand is a different story. For some reason her left hand had more damage then the right, and almost all of her fingers are broken, some in two different places, and a few metacarpals were shattered. There was no way I could have fixed her hand without surgery. She’ll be in a cast for a month, after that she’s going to have to do some type of physical therapy to work on getting her muscles back.”

 

“Thank you so much dad.” I whisper, pulling him into a hug.

 

“I did the best I could baby.” He says returning my hug.

 

“Can I go see her?”

 

“You can, but she’s asleep and will be asleep for another half hour or so. Why don’t you go home, grab her some clothes to change into, get yourself something to eat, and then come back.”

 

“Bu-“

 

“That’s actually a great idea, come on Alex. Your dad has other patients to see today.” She says gently.

 

“I’m not leaving her!”

 

“Al-“

 

“No mom! Everyone in her life as left her! I am not leaving her for her to wake up in a hospital confused and alone again.” I choke out, trying to keep the tremble out of my voice.

 

My mom facial expression morphs into one of crestfallen understanding. When my dad opens his mouth to further his point, my mom lays a hand softly on his arm before nodding her head at me.

 

“She’s in room 610.” My dad sighs out, and I rush out of the room without another word.

 

I climb up the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. I speed walk through the hallways, trying to locate Tobin’s room. As I walk quickly down the hall, I notice a commotion a few rooms down. Counting out the number of doors until 610, I break out into a jog when I realize the commotion is coming from Tobin’s room. The closer I get the more chaotic it sounds. I whirl around the doorframe, taking in the scene in front of me.

 

Tobin is frantically pulling the IV out of her arm and tearing off her monitors, causing a loud persistent beep to echo throughout the room. Two nurses are trying to restrain Tobin as she thrashes around trying to break free.

 

“Tobin!” I shout, running up to her quickly.

 

“Ma’am you’re no-“

 

“Tobin stop!” I cry as I run past the nurse up to Tobin.

 

“Ma’am you can not be in here!” The nurse yells at me.

 

“Shut up!” I say to her loudly before turning to Tobin.

 

“Tobin, Tobin stop!” I say to her as gently as I can, shaking her shoulders.

 

Tobin looks up at me with glassy eyes, her chest heaving as she wheezes out heavily from her exertion. She blinks several times, looking up to me in confusion as she takes in shallow rattling breaths.

 

“I’m here. I’m here Tobin. You need to calm down.” I say taking her face in my hands.

 

“Lay down.” I tell Tobin, pushing on her shoulders until she’s lying against her pillow.

 

When the nurses approach, Tobin’s head turns to them immediately and she locks her arm around my elbow pulling me in tightly, not being able to use her hands.

 

“Tobin you have to let them help you.” I say to her softly and she shakes her head looking up to me with glazed over eyes

 

“Tobin loo-look at me. I’m right here ok. Look in my eyes.” I say, trying not to weep at Tobin’s sick induced distress. Out of the corner of my eye I watch as the nurses slowly approach, cautious to set Tobin off again.

 

“I promise you everything is gonna be alright ok? They’re going to make you feel better.” I whisper into Tobin’s hair as I stroke it.

 

The nurses gradually reattach Tobin’s monitors. It takes them several times until they are able to situate the IV back into place due to Tobin’s arm shaking so much. I look down and my heart shatters when I see Tobin’s eyes clenched shut, tears streaming openly down her face.

 

“IV is finally in, hand me the sedative James.” The nurse says quietly before slowly administering the sedative through Tobin’s IV.

 

A few moments after the nurse dispenses sedative into Tobin’s IV, I hear her shallow breathing start to slow down. She knocks her arm weakly against mine, causing me to look down at her.

 

 _Alex,_ she mouths, reaching out and running the back of her bandaged hand against my cheek before her eyes start to close against her will.

 

“I’ll be right here when you wake up.” I promise to her, kissing the back of her hand. I watch as the sedative takes over, allowing Tobin to finally rest.

 

When I know for sure that Tobin is asleep, I let the tears I’ve been holding back finally wash over me.

 

“Who did this to you?” I sob into her hair, wondering who on earth could have damaged Tobin this much.

 

I try to stop crying but I cant stop the fresh wave of tears when I gaze down at Tobin and realize how small and weak she looks. I pull out my phone with shaking hands, and dial a number.

 

“Hey. I really need you right now.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	17. The Good The Bad and The Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would we rather an update of IYAM or CJ next??

I don’t know how long I sit in that chair stroking Tobin’s hand, but I’m snapped out of my trance when I hear a rapping on the door. My head snaps to attention and I sigh in relief at the person I needed most right now.

 

“Hey hon, are you ok??” Ali says as she rushes to my side.

 

“No.” I blubber out, turning so that Ali can wrap her arms around me.

 

“Jesus.” Ali mutters out as she looks at Tobin over my shoulder.

 

“What happened to her Al?”

 

“I don’t know. She missed Monday and Tuesday she showed up with her hands looking like that, but left before she told me anything. She didn’t show up this morning and didn’t come to dinner the past two nights. I snuck out after first period and go to her house and find her passed out in her bed. ” I get out through my tears.

 

“Did someone do this to her?”

 

“She won’t tell me anything. I tried asking her what happened and she got super defensive. I don’t know if something happened at home or someone did this to her, I just don’t know Ali.” I cry into her shoulder.

 

“It’ll be ok Al. She’s tough, she’s been through worst.”

 

“Ali her room was so cold, it was only a few degrees warmer then outside. All she had were a few thin blankets and a sweat shirt on that was completely soaked in sweat. I just don’t understand why bad things happen to her. She’s such a good person Ali.” I sniffle out.

 

“I know hon I know.” Ali says, letting go of me and dragging the other chair in the room next to me. I go back to my previous position, leaning over the bed, holding onto Tobin’s hand.

 

“I’m going to break up with Brian.” I whisper out into the silent room.

 

“ What?”

 

“I’m breaking up with Brian.” I say a little louder and am met by a moment of silence.

 

“May I ask why?”

 

“He’s not the person he used to be. He’s not the person I want to be with anymore.” I admit, my eyes wandering over Tobin’s face.

 

“Is Tobin the person you want to be with?” Ali questions me tentatively and this time it’s me who is tongue-tied.

 

“Al?” I hear her ask and my jaw starts to tremble as I continue to focus on Tobin’s face.

 

“Alex its ok if you do. It’s ok if you want to be with Tobin.” She says lightly.

 

Tears start to stream down my face silently and I feel Ali put her hand on my back.

 

“Alex ar-are you… do you have feelings for Tobin?” Ali asks me timidly.

 

“I-I” I stutter unable to get the words out so I nod my head.

 

“It’s ok you know.” She says and I nod my head again, leaning down until my forehead is resting on her arm.

 

“I just. I’ve never felt like this for someone before. All I want is help her, and be around her all the time. She means a lot to me, I-I really like her Ali.” I murmur against her arm.

 

“Hey.” Ali says to get my attention, and I turn my gaze from Tobin to Ali next to me.

 

“I love you no matter what, you are my best friend and I’m here for you. I mean I snuck out of school and skipped the last two periods just because you called and said you needed me. I’m always gonna be here for you, through the good the bad and the gay.” She jokes trying to lighten the mood. It works and I let out a teary chuckle as I lean back against Ali in a silent thank you.

 

“When was the last time you ate Al?”

 

“Um I don’t know last night?”

 

“Go get something from the caf right now.” Ali tells me, handing a ten-dollar bill to me.

 

“But Ali-“

 

“Nope! I will sit here with Tobin for the ten minutes you are gone. I don’t want to hear your complaining. Go get a salad or a burger or something.” Ali commands me and I know at this point there’s no point arguing with her when she has that expression on her face.

 

“I’ll be back in 10 minutes.” I say standing.

 

“Do not leave her.” I emphasize and Ali just rolls her eyes as she takes out her phone.

 

“Mama Ali is on duty, no worries.” She smiles at me and turns to her phone.

 

I take another look at Tobin and sigh before walking out the door in search of the cafeteria.

 

 

Tobin’s POV

 

A persistent beeping wakes me from my slumber. Still groggy I don’t open my eyes, but I do notice how warm my room is which confuses me enough to make me open my eyes slowly. My eyes shoot all the way open when I don’t recognize my surroundings. I realize I’m in a hospital room, and almost immediately my heart rate begins to accelerate, as does the beeping. I try to clear my eyes but notice that my left hand is in a cast and my right hand is wrapped up.

 

_What the fuck. How the fuck did I get here?_

 

I try to sit up, but lay back down immediately when I feel a deep pain in my chest.

 

“Oh you’re up!” An unfamiliar voice calls out, and my head whips to the right, noticing a girl sitting in a chair for the first time. I’m 90% positive it’s Ali, Alex’s best friend but I’m not completely sure since we’ve never met.

 

“I’m Ali” _Oh so I was right_ “Alex just went down to the cafeteria, she should be back soon.” She informs me helpfully and I nod my head.

 

Ali stares at me, tilting her head to the side, and my self-consciousness grows rapidly with each passing second.

 

“You looked confused, do you remember getting here?” She asks nicely and I slowly shake my head.

 

“What do you remember?” She asks and I look around the room with only me eyes, searching for something to write on. Upon not finding anything I look back up to Ali and raise my eyebrows as I point to my neck slightly.

 

“Fucking shit I forget. Fuck sorry Tobin.” She says quickly.

 

_She knows my name?_

 

“Ummm oh! We can use my phone!” She exclaims in excitement, seemingly pleased with herself for thinking of a way for us to communicate.

 

She pulls out her phone, and holds it up for me to type out with one of my fingers.

 

_I remember Alex giving me food and medicine at her house but that’s it._

 

“Alex told me that her mom came home, saw you, and they brought you to the hospital. Alex called me after you got after surgery.” She informs me after reading my note. My eyes widen at the word surgery, my heart rate once again quickening at the thought of laying on an operating table again, and I motion rapidly for her to hold the phone up for me.

 

_Surgery?!_

“I don’t know if I should be the one explaining this, Alex only told me the basics.” Ali says worriedly but one look at my panicked face and she caves.

 

“Alex told me they had to take you to surgery to fix your left hand because apparently you had some bones that were shattered.” She tells me and I take a deep breath.

 

_I thought I had a few broken fingers but I thought they would have been fine by themselves._

“So how did you and Alex become such good friends?” Ali suddenly asks me, momentarily taking my thoughts off of my hands. I shrug my shoulders and shake my head.

 

“You’re super smart, I bet you have a witty sense of humor. Alex has always liked people with a witty sense of humor, it’s one of the reasons we became friends in the first place.” Ali thinks out loud to herself.

 

“She talks a lot about you. Any time that we get to hang out, which granted isn’t much because you’ve stolen all of her time from me, she talks about you non-stop.” Ali teasingly tells me with a smile. The thought of Alex talking to her best friend causes me to blush and look down at the blanket in my lap, a smile finding its way to my face.

 

I look back up at Ali through my eyelashes, a smile still on my face, and find her with her head cocked to the side with a quizzical expression spread across her features.

 

_What?_ I mouth to her, puzzled why she was looking at me like that.

 

“I can totally see it, even sick I can see it.” She says sitting back and crossing her arms in self-satisfaction.

 

My eyebrows scrunch together in utter bafflement, and I go to motion for her phone, but something moving out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. My head turns to see Alex looking down at her phone her eyebrows knitted together as she types something out. She looks up with a sigh, and her face completely changes as a relieved face replaces her previous expression as she rushes over.

 

“Tobin you’re up!” She says, cupping my face tenderly. I exhale at the feeling of Alex gently running her fingers over my face, and I lean further into her hands.

 

“You scared me so much.” She whispers, leaning forward until our faces are inches within each other.

 

_I’m sorry_

 

“You don’t have to be sorry. I’m just glad you’re ok.” She tells me, placing her lips against my hair, causing me to close me eyes.

 

“Ok now I totallyyyyy see it.” Ali pipes up from her spot in the chair.

 

Alex backs off, and we both look over to Ali. I’m still confused at what she’s referring to and look up at Alex to see her staring at Ali with wide eyes. I tap Alex with my elbow, silently asking her to explain.

 

“Shut up Ali.” Alex grits through clenched teeth.

 

“I’m just saying.” She says with her hands up in the air and a smirk on her face, and I observe the two of them in total confusion.

 

“You want to go get the nurse Ali?” Alex asks pointedly and Ali rolls her eyes as she gives out a disgruntled grunt, standing out of her chair.

 

Alex watches Ali leave the room and I raise my hand up and cover hers with my own to get her attention.

 

_Thank you._

 

“I’m here for you. Always, remember?” She tells me, turning her hand over so that she can loosely hold my hand through my tape. I feel at peace for the first time in several days, my eyes never leaving Alex’s as the nurse work around me. The last thing I remember before my eyes grow too heavy is Alex placing a kiss on my forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are we thinking so far??


	18. Houdini

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two people made me blush sooooo here you guys go!

Tobin has to stay the night in the hospital, and even though my mother tried to convince me to go home and sleep, I stay with Tobin at the hospital. After deciding that nothing would change my mind, my mother leaves with a sigh, calling over her shoulder that I would be present at school tomorrow. Tobin ended up scooting over so that I could crawl into bed with her and eventually fall asleep after watching hours of The Big Bang Theory, Tobin silently chuckling next to me the whole time.

 

I attend school the next morning, begrudgingly leaving Tobin’s side. My mom tells me that Tobin is being discharged later that morning and that she would be at our house when I got out of school. I’m grabbing my Calculus book out of my locker, thinking of the way I woke up this morning curled up next to Tobin when a hand on my shoulder startles.

 

“Jesus Brian.” I huff out as I try to get my racing heart under control.

 

“Hey babe didn’t mean to scare you.” He says smiling at me.

 

“I didn’t even hear you.” I say, taking off the hand that was on my pitter-pattering heart.

 

“Where have you been babes? I missed you and you haven’t really been answering my texts.”

 

“Yes I have.” I dismissively say.

 

“One worded responses don’t count as answering Alex. Where have you been? I’ve been worried.” He says placing a hand on my arm.

 

“I’ve been with Tobin, she’s really sick and hurt.” I respond wiping a hand across my face and smoothing out the lines of worry across my forehead.

 

“You’ve been with Tobin?” He ask seriously, and I feel his hand tighten on my arm.

 

“Yes. Jesus calm down Brian she’s my friend.” I say defensively, shrugging off his hand.

 

“Sorry babe. I was just worried about you and don’t know why you couldn’t have responded to me better if you were just with Tobin.” He instantly says.

 

“Look Brian can we talk about this later?” I ask, running my hand over my face in frustration.

 

“Yeah. Sure. I’ll come over to yours around 7.” He says in a hard tone before spinning on his heels and walking away.

 

I take a deep sigh and close my eyes prior to walking to my first class of a soon to be long day.

 

…

 

“Tobin? Mom?” I call out as soon as I enter the house.

 

“In here honey.” My mom replies from the living room.

 

I walk around the corner to find my mom and Tobin curled up on the couch with Gatorade and snacks in front of them and the tv turned onto opening scenes of Forrest Gump.

 

“Alex can you believe Tobin has never seen Forrest Gump.” My mother turns to me in outrage. I look over to Tobin who shrugs her shoulders and continues to sip her yellow Gatorade out of a straw.

 

“Make room for me, this is one of my favorite movies.” I say, squeezing myself between my mom and Tobin, pleasantly surprised when Tobin takes my hand in hers under the blankets. I turn to her, but she keeps her face forward, the only inclination of our joined hands given away by the small smile on her face.

 

We watch the movie in silent contentment, my mom getting up about halfway through the movie so that she can start cooking dinner. Towards the end of the movie when Forrest is standing above Jenny’s grave, I catch a movement out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head and see tears making their way down Tobin’s cheeks as she bites her lip. I smile softly, knowing I reacted the same way the first time I watched and reach out to Tobin. She tears her eyes away from the screen and looks at me with watery eyes and I cant help but chuckle lightly. Her eyebrows scrunch together in slight annoyance at me laughing at her, but I shake my head and reach my hand out, directing her head onto my shoulder. She does so and squirms a little bit so that most of her body is covering my side.

 

The movie ends and not even a minute later my mom calls out that dinner is ready. We both stand but I have to catch Tobin, due to her still being weak and dizzy. She gives me a small smile of thanks as I help lead her into the kitchen.

 

“I made your favorite hun.” She winks at Tobin, whose eyes brighten up at the sight of spaghetti in front of her.

 

Without warning, Tobin strides up to my mom and gives her a tight hug, burying her face into her neck. Not used to Tobin being so open with her emotions, my mom is startled for a moment, but drops the spoon in her hand and wraps her arms around Tobin just as tightly. When Tobin finally pulls away, my mom gives her a quick kiss on the forehead and a pat on the back, pushing her towards the table. I watch as my mom turns her back on the pair of us and quickly wipes her eyes. I bite my lip to hide the smile threatening to break across my face, and sit down next to Tobin.

 

We’re about halfway through dinner when we hear a knock on the door. My mom rises from her chair to open it, and my stomach fills with dread when I hear that it is Brian.

 

“Oh hi Brian, come in.” My mom says in the nicest tone she can manage towards him. At the sound of his name, I hear Tobin drop her fork and can practically feel her entire body stiffen.

 

“Why don’t you sit down, I’ll fix you a plate.” My mom says, never one to turn away a guest.

 

“I’ll never turn down you’re cooking Mrs. Morgan.” Brian charmingly smiles up at

her.

 

“Hey babe. Hi Tobin.” He says sitting down across from us.

 

“Hey Brian.” I stiffly smile back as Tobin looks anywhere but Brian.

 

After a few minute of awkward conversation while Brian eats his plate of spaghetti, he turns to Tobin.

 

“So Tobin what happened to your hands?” He motions with his fork as he takes a huge bite of spaghetti.

 

Tobin doesn’t say or even move at his question, so I speak up for her.

 

“She hasn’t said what happened to them, she showed up Tuesday to school with them like that.” I reply back.

 

“Really” He slowly says as he runs his tongue over his teeth. Out of the corner of my eye I see Tobin begin to nervously run her semi-good hand over her jeans, an action she only does when she’s extremely nervous.

 

“You know I broke my hand once. I slipped on some ice, tried to catch my fall, and ended up shattering a few bones in my hand. Is that what happened to you?” He asks as he takes a sip of water, his eyes never leaving Tobin.

 

Tobin glances up at him, nodding before looking back down at her lap. My eyebrows come together as my eyes flit from Brian, who was basically staring daggers into Tobin, and Tobin whose eyes were wide and breathing had increased.

 

“Tobin honey why didn’t you tell us that?” My mom softly asks before I can speak up.

 

Tobin looks up at my mom and wiggles her hands in the air and then motions the action of writing before shrugging her shoulders and looking back down. My mother purses her lips, an unconvinced expression on her face. I open my mouth to speak but Tobin suddenly scoots her chair away from the table and stand. She motions to her head and then upstairs, informing us that she wanted to go to bed.

 

“Do you want me to go with you?” I ask, already half standing from my seat, but she shakes her head.

 

“Hope your hands get better. Oh and Tobin, you gotta be careful. The ice here, especially on slopes are really slippery.” Brian says, articulating each word as he glares at Tobin who is leaning against the doorframe.

 

I observe Tobin as she clinches her jaw before turning on her heel and proceeding to go up the stairs. I stare at the spot Tobin had disappeared from, a weird feeling in my stomach, as Brian directs my attention to himself.

 

“Brian.” I call out softly as we walk to the door after dinner.

 

“Yeah baby?” He responds, putting his hands on my hips.

 

“Brian.” I sigh, taking his hands off of my waist and letting them fall at his side.

 

“Look Brian I.. I don’t… this.. I don’t think this is working any more.” I stutter out, looking at his chest. When I’m met with silence I take a chance and look up to see Brian blatantly glowering at me.

 

“What do you mean Alex.” He growls out.

 

“I just I cant do this anymore.”

 

“Cant do what.” He asks in a hard voice and I motion to the two of us.

 

“Are-are you breaking up with me?”

 

I look up at Brian, opening my mouth to reply but no sound comes out.

 

“Oh this is rich. This is RICH. YOU are breaking up with ME?!” He begins to laugh out, and I just stand there.

 

“Does this have something do with Heath?” He spits out.

 

“No.” I say. It has everything to do with Tobin I think to myself.

 

“This is bullshit. This is fucking bullshit Alex!” He scoffs out in rage.

 

“Brian just stop.” I say quietly, knowing my mother is listening in to the conversation in the kitchen.

 

“Why.” He demands to know.

 

“I just- I just don’t care for you in that way anymore, I haven’t for awhile.” I admit honestly.

 

“Fuck you Alex and you’re fucking freak of a friend. You’re gonna regret this, I’m the greatest thing that ever happened to you.” He sneers at me, storming out of the door, and slamming it so hard a picture frame falls off of the wall.

 

My emotions get the best of me and I can feel tears begin to fill my eyes. I bite my lip hard, close my eyes, and take a deep breath to calm myself before walking into the kitchen.

 

My mom is leaning against the counter, her arms folded over one another, but raises them in the motion of a hug when she sees me. I run into her arms, breathing in her familiar smell that has always calmed me down.

 

“Do you feel better?” She whispers in my ear and I nod my head firmly.

 

“Good. To be honest with you Alex, I never really liked him. Didn’t think he was good enough for you.” She says to me and I let out a watery chuckle, pulling back to see her smiling down on me.

 

“Go get her.” She winks at me and I smile brightly as I go in for another hug.

 

“I love you mom.” I say into her ear.

 

“I love you too baby.” She says, squeezing me one final time before pushing me away and motioning with her eyes to upstairs. With a bright smile on my face, I run up the stairs, taking two at a time.

 

I enter my room smiling widely, but it falls off of my face when I see that Tobin is nowhere in sight. I call out to her, check the bathroom, even checking all of the guest rooms until I accept that she is no longer in the house. I rush down stairs and back into the kitchen, startling my mother.

 

“She’s gone mom.” I breathe out.

 

“Christ on cracker, I swear that girl disappears more then Houdini.” She says to herself shaking her head as she reaches for her car keys.

 

“It’s ok mom, I think know where she went.” I say and walk out the door, hoping I’m right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are we liking it? What do you think is going to happen next? Anyone like guessing games?? If you guess it right, update will be headed this way tomorrow.


	19. Milkshake and Fries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Several people guessed it so here you guys go lol

I grab my keys from the bowl by the door and begin to walk out, but pause. I turn around and grab my mom’s wool jacket from the coat hook, knowing there was a high chance Tobin hadn’t grabbed a jacket when she had snuck out.

 

I get into my car and start driving to the general location I have in my mind. I pull up, grab the flashlight out of my backseat, and start walking into the night. I pull the collar of my coat up, and grumble when it starts to lightly rain. I walk for 5 minutes through the dark, watching the white puffs of breath escape from my mouth into the cold night.

 

“Jesus Tobin where the fuck are you?” I murmur to myself, continuing to wonder around in the dark.

 

I’m about to give up and go back to my car to check out another place when my flashlight catches color. I whirl the light back to the color that caught my eye, end let out the biggest sigh when I see that it’s my sweatshirt Tobin had worn at dinner and her fluorescent orange backpack.

 

“Tobin?” I say as I gradually walk up to her not wanting to scare her.

 

Tobin doesn’t react to me calling out to her, but I know she’s aware of my presence when I kneel down next to her. I reach out and put a hand on top of hers, internally flinching at how cold her hand was. I drop the flashlight and bring it up to my chest, rubbing it in between both of my hands to try and warm her up a little. I watch Tobin close her eyes at my touch, fresh tears sliding down her already tear stained cheeks.

 

“Come here.” I whisper, crawling behind Tobin and pulling her wet cold body into me.

 

“I’ve got you.” I begin to say softly when I feel her body begin to shake with sobs as she continues to look at the gravestone in front of us.

 

“Jeff would be proud of you, you know that?” I ask rhetorically into her ear and her head drops as the shaking in her shoulders intensifies.

 

I lose track of how long I sit there holding Tobin in the wet cold night as she releases all of her emotions, but eventually she turns around to me. She curls herself into me, her nose wiggling into my neck, and her arms going around me.

 

“I’ve got you. C’mon Tobin lets go or you’re going to freeze.” I stand, reaching out to help her stiff body up.

 

She crinkles her nose as she sniffles, looking over her shoulder at the gravestone before lightly running her hand over the name. She takes a deep breath, nods to herself, and bends down to pick up the flashlight. I run around Tobin so I could be on her right side, and grab her least hurt hand, holding it in mine as we make our way through the cemetery back to my car.

 

Once in the car, I turn the heat on full blast, holding my shaking hands up to the small heaters. I blow out a breath of relief as I start to feel the feeling of warmth travel up my hands and into my body. We sit, warming ourselves up, listening to the faint tunes of a song on the radio.

 

“Tobin.” I call out softly into the dark cab, and I know that even without her acknowledging me, that she is listening.

 

“Tobin did someone do this to you?” I ask, spinning my body so that my full attention is on her. I observe Tobin open her lips a mere centimeter before closing them and clenching her jaw.

 

“Did someone I know do this?” I ask and watch as she closes her eyes, clamping her jaw impossibly more.

 

“Tobin please. I have to know.” I beg, tears coming to my eyes as I finally connect the dots of the last month after tonight.

 

Tobin spins her head at the sound of my distressed voice, looking down at my lips, her own trembling as she nods her head.

 

“Who was it?” I hesitantly croak, my eyes closing momentarily.

 

Tobin gazes at me, the sadness swirling in them illuminated by the orange streetlights.

 

“Is it who I think it is?” I whisper out, intensely watching Tobin.

 

Her eyes move across my entire face, taking in every aspect of the atmosphere hovering between us, before nodding her head once again.

 

“God dammit.” I weep, slamming the back of my head into my seat. I cant control the tears and sobs that rack my body at the thought of someone who I used to care so much about, doing something so atrocious, to Tobin of all people.

 

I hear Tobin moving in the seat next to me, coming in close as she runs her hand under my eyes to wipe away the tears.

 

“Tobin I-I’m so sorry. I’m so-so sorry.” I cry, my chest heaving as I think about all the pain Tobin has been through.

 

I feel her place both of her hands on either side of my face, directing my full attention to her. Tears are slowly making their way down her cheeks as well, and we stare at each other taking in each other, before she just nods her head at me.

 

“I broke up with him. I don’t want anything to do with that monster ever again.” I say vehemently. I don’t have time to finish my statement because Tobin leans in slamming our lips together.

 

We kiss passionately, our tears and breath mixing with one another as we pour our emotions into the kiss. This kiss only last a few seconds, but both of us pull away breathless. Tobin is looking at me with the most adorable smile on her face and I can’t help the watery giggle that escapes me as I look at her dopey face. My chuckle dies and my smile fades away and is replaced with anger when I think of the condition Tobin is in right now because of Brian.

 

“You have to go to the police Tobin.” I tell her as I wipe her hair out of her face, but she just shakes her head vigorously.

 

“Yes Tobin!” I say with conviction and she begins to look around my car for something to write on before motioning for me to give her my phone.

 

_There is no evidence that he did this._

 

“Um your hands Tobin!”

 

_It can’t be proved it was him. There are no video cameras and no witnesses._

“Isn’t there someway to prove that he did this?!” I ask desperately and she shakes her head while shrugging her shoulders.

 

_Who is going to believe the psycho mute girl over the mayor’s son?_ She writes me, her eyebrows raised questioningly.

 

“You are not psycho!” I argue and she lets out a silent chuckle before writing something else down.

 

_Maybe not to you, but to everyone else, I am._

 

“Why is the world so cruel to you?” I ask softly after a moment, running my hands over her face.

 

_It’s not that cruel, I met you didn’t I?_

“Tobin Heath. I never picked you for a romantic.” I blush after reading her note, and she gives me one of her goofy grins.

 

“Lets get out of here.” I say and Tobin nods her head, giving me a quick peck, and sits back in her seat.

 

A little ways into the drive, Tobin taps me on the leg and motions for me to turn at Frank’s gas station.

 

“You want to go home?” I ask and she bobs her head motioning at her clothes.

 

“You want some more clothes?” I inquire and she bobs her head up and down.

 

I pull in front of the trailer and am surprised when I see an old truck parked in front of it. Tobin pauses only for a split second before continuing her march into the house, me following closely behind.

 

When we walk in the smell of alcohol and cigarettes hit me like a train, and my head recoils at the stench. I notice almost instantly the five people sitting down in the “living room” were now staring up at us.

 

“There’s my good for nothing daughter. Tobin be useful for once in your god damn life and grab five beers out of the fridge.” An older man, one that I assume is her dad, demands from his spot in a grimy chair.

 

I watch in shock as Tobin obeys, immediately turning on her heel and walking to the fridge. She struggles to hold 3 beers in her as she slowly walks over to the group of people.

 

“Jesus are you fucking deaf now too?! I said five! Five!” He says in annoyance, holding up his fingers as if Tobin were retarded. Tobin blushes scarlet, looking at me out of the corner of her eye before turning her attention back to her dad. She can barely hold up the three fingers on her good hand and motions to the fridge to communicate that there were only three left.

 

“Well what do you do when there aren’t any left?” He slurs in a rhetorically sweet voice and Tobin stands there silently waiting on her orders.

 

“Fuck you’re so stupid. Get your ass down to Franks and get us another 24 pack.” A women sneers out as she takes a deep drag from the cigarette in her hand.

 

“Why don’t you get your drunk asses up and get it yourself?!” I shout out, no longer able to contain my rage at the way they were talking to Tobin.

 

Tobin whirls around with wide eyes as her dad stands up as soon as the words leave my mouth.

 

“Who the fuck are you?! What makes you think you can talk to me like that in MY house?!” He yells and begins to put down his drink.

 

Tobin turns back to him waving her cast and wrapped up hand in the air, before rushing to my side and pushing me out of the house quickly. She wraps her arm around my elbow and doesn’t stop jogging until we’re both in the car. She turns to me, breathing deeply through her nose, her eyes wide with adrenaline as she impatiently motions for me to give her my phone.

 

_NEVER DO THAT AGAIN_

“But Tobin he-“

 

_NEVER DO THAT AGAIN._ She shoves the phone into my face again.

 

“Tobin he cant t-“

 

_When they are home, one of the rules I’ve made up are to be as undetectable as possible. Trust me when I say you aren’t doing me any favors sticking up for me like that, Serv has already tried._

 

She types out before tossing the phone into my lap and rubbing a hand over her face. When she feels me staring at her with wide-eyed disbelief, she lets out a sigh and turns to me mouthing the word sorry.

 

I nod my head to show I understand even though my brain is swirling to try and catch up so that I could actually understand. We get to Franks and walk in, and my eyes scope around the store, now very aware of my surroundings and the neighborhood I’m in this late at night. Tobin walks straight to the beer section, grabs a 24 pack of Bud light underneath her armpit, and walks up to the counter.

 

“Parents?” The old women asks behind the counter as she looks over Tobin, who simply nods her head.

 

“How many more months of school you got left girl?” She asks as she rings Tobin up. I put my hand over Tobin’s as she begins to rummage through her backpack, and hand the woman my card. Tobin looks at me shyly before motioning with her hand she has 5 months left.

 

“Well as sad as I’ll be to see you go, I’m ready for you to get the hell out of this town.” She says with a grunt, walking towards the back of the store. I grab the crate of beer so Tobin didn’t have to carry it, but she runs out in front of me so she can open the door.

 

When we get back to her trailer, I go to get out of the car, but she reaches over placing a hand over mine and shaking her head. I open my mouth to protest but she gives me a hard look that quickly silences me. She hooks the crate under her arms and walks into the house. Three minutes have never passed by so slow, and I can literally feel my blood pressure drop when I see Tobin slipping out of the door. She climbs into the car with a full duffle bag and when she picks up her head I notice the hand mark on her cheek. I place my hand carefully on it, biting my lip, and she gives me a small smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.

 

“I’m sorry.” I say quietly and she shrugs her shoulders as if it isn’t a big deal that one of her parents just slapped her across the face.

 

“You know what I think we need.” I say as I begin to drive off, Tobin looking at me inquisitively.

 

“I think we need to pick up some milkshakes and fries from Pops and watch movies all night.” I say and Tobin turns to me smiling brightly, before leaning over placing the lightest kiss on my cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo are our thoughts?


	20. Fishy Money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know I know

“Hey you.” I slide into my seat slightly out of breath.

Tobin raises her eyebrows and gives me a slight smirk as she looks over my disheveled appearance.

“We had practice this morning, don’t give me that look. Coach is getting us ready for State.” I whisper to her as more of our classmates enter the room.

Tobin just nodded her head and gave me a knowing look before turning back to the book in her hand.

“Whatcha reading today?” I had come to learn that Tobin read books incredibly fast. She normally went through about 2 a week

“The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner” I squint as I read the title of the book. “You’re still on this one?” I ask knowing she was reading the same book last week.

Tobin nods her head and then motions that it blows her mind and is over her head.

“Please, I highly doubt that. You’re brilliant.” I compliment and I smile when I see a blush slowly make its way across Tobin’s cheeks.

“You want to start Game of Thrones later tonight after dinner?” I say quietly and look over to see Tobin shaking her head.

“Oh I thought you wanted to start Game of Thrones? We can watch something else.”         

I watch as her eyebrows scrunch together before sighing and reaching for her pin and notepad.

_I’m hanging with Serv tonight, he’s feeling a little left out since I’ve been hanging out with you so much._

“Oh yeah of course that’s totally cool, just text me if you get bored or something.” I chuckle but stop when I see Tobin gritting her teeth and squinting her eyes at me.

“What.” I mouth to her, aware of our teacher beginning his lecture.

_I mighttt have broken my phone the other night…_

My mouth drops open and I just look at Tobin with an exasperated expression.

_It wasn’t my fault!! It just died on me! I tried restarting it and charging it, but it didn’t turn on. It’s just an old phone._

“You’re something else Tobin Heath.” I laugh quietly.

“Alex if you and Mrs. Heath are too busy having a conversation, you can step outside and continue it. Otherwise, come up to the board to solve this morning’s problem.” Mr. Smith remarks, causing the class to whisper to themselves as they look back at both of us.

“Yes sir.” I say standing immediately while Tobin drops her head due to the amount of attention that is currently on her. Thank god I knew how to solve the problem from last night’s homework, or this would be embarrassing.

Mr. Smith gives me a small smile and a wink as I return to my desk and he continues calling people up to work similar problems from last nights’ homework. I walk back to my desk to find a small piece of paper on it.

_Nice save Morgan._

“Shutup.” I whisper quietly, smiling at her before turning my attention to the front.

…..

“Alex honey?” My mom calls out from the living room.

“Yeah mom?”

“Is Tobin not joining us for dinner tonight?” She inquires while peeking through the blinds of the window, in search of Tobin’s figure.

“I don’t think so. She told me at school how she would be hanging out with Serv tonight since she hasn’t been able to spend that much time with him recently.” I respond, jumping down the remaining two steps of the stairs.

“Can you text her please and ask if she would rather hamburgers or chicken alfredo tomorrow night?.” She asks.

“Her phone broke, there’s no way I can contact her.” I huff out.

“What do you mean her phone break??” My mom spins around looking at me with wide eyes.

“She said it just died on her, she can’t get it to turn on.” I explain.

“I swear that girl.” My mom rolls her eyes “How are her hands doing?”

“Her right hand is doing a lot better, the swelling is going down enough for her to write with a pencil without it being too painful, and the cut is almost healed up. Dad says the left is going to be in a cast for another few weeks before it goes in a brace and then she has to do physical therapy.” I shake my head.

“Mom how the hell is she going to pay her hospital bills, it’s not like her parents are going to pay for them, and sh-‘

“Honey it’s taken care of.” My mom says with her head tilted down looking at me knowingly.

“What do you mean it’s taken care of… Mom Tobin won’t let you guys pay for this, there’s no way.”

“Honey your dad did the surgery pro-bono, and he already has a physical therapist that owes him a favor set up for when Tobin is out of her cast.” She informs me.

“Why is Dad so amazing?” I ask teary eyed.

“Because he loves Tobin, and knows that she needs to be taken care of.” My mom tells me as she embraces me in a hug.

“Mom.”

“Yeah honey?”

“We’re going to have to get dad a really good Father’s day present this year.” I muffle out into her sweater.

“I know honey, I’m already looking into it.” She chuckles out. “Well since it’s just the two of us tonight, your dad is working a late shift tonight, what do you say we treat ourselves to take out?”

“From Buddha?!” I ask excitedly, pulling my head away from my mom’s chest.

“You know it baby.” She laughs out.

“Awesome! I’m going to go for a run while we wait for it to get delivered, thanks mom!” I shout as I rush up the stairs to change into something to run in.

“Alex can you check the mailbox on your way back in? A package is supposed to be delivered tonight from UPS.” My mom calls out from the kitchen.

“Got it.” I yell as I run down the porch and begin the same running path that I always take that cuts around to the prettier side of our neighborhood that leads to a trail in a small forest.

By the time I’ve finished my run, my legs are about to give up on me, my lungs are burning, and my stomach is rumbling for the Chinese food that I know is sitting on my kitchen table. I almost walk inside but roll my eyes and spin around when I realize I forgot to look in the mailbox for a package. I open it to find the package, but as I pull out the package, something else falls to the ground.

I inspect the item as I bring it to eye level and identify it as a homemade envelope of some sort. I open the envelope to find $33 inside of it. Confused, I walk into the house with my eyebrows scrunched together.

“Hey mom, would you have any idea why there would be $33 inside our mailbox??” I ask, still inspecting the homemade envelope which was a piece of paper folded over a couple of times.

“No.” She shouts from the kitchen.

“It kind of smells like fish. Does it smell like fish to you?” I scrunch up my nose and hold out the rolled up bills.

“I have no idea why we would have bills in the mailbox that smell like fish, put it on top of the fridge and we’ll figure it out later honey. C’mon lets eat our Chinese and watch Breaking Bad. I’m on the episode where Gus, Walt, and Jessie are in Mexico!” She claps her hands excitedly.

Fifteen minutes later, my belly is full and I collapse into the couch thoroughly satisfied. I smile as I watch my Mom slowly chew on her eggroll, completely entranced by Breaking Bad. I pick up my phone to text Tobin, but drop it with a sigh when I remember that her phone is broken.

“You know, its very strange not having Tobin’s presence here.” My mom comments, still slowly chewing on her egg roll.

“I don’t like her not being here.” I say quietly.

“Honey, she’ll be ok. You said she was with her friend tonight right?”

“Yesss, that doesn’t mean I like not hearing from her.” I whine.

“Someone getting a little attached hm?” She chuckles out while poking my shoulder.

“Everything going well with you two?” My mom continues.

“Yes.” I say quietly, dipping my head while my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“Good. I can tell, you look happy.”

“I am happy.” I say, returning a smile. My mom winks at me before turning back to Breaking Bad.

“You aren’t having sex under my roof right??”

“MOM!!” I shout in embarrassment. My face flushing immediately, only becoming redder as my mom throws her head back and laughs at me.


	21. No Fucking Bullshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter! Tell me what you think about it in the comments! Also shout out to Sheff77 for having a pretty good guess lol. So I'm going to be incorporating Ash and Kelley into the story pretty soon and I think you guys are really going to like how I go about with it, stay tuned!

“Ok so no fucking bullshit, what the hell have you been doing the last 2 weeks?” I angrily ask, dropping into my desk next to Tobin. She picks her head up and I immediately notice how tired her facial expression is.

_What are you talking about?_ She slides towards me on her notebook, avoiding eye contact with me.

“For the last 2 weeks you have been dodging me, after class you rush out and brush off any questions I ask you and I’m sick of it. You came over once for dinner, literally shoveled food down your throat and rushed out of the door because ‘you and Serv were hanging out’”. I heatedly quote with my fingers.

Tobin still didn’t look at me, but I notice how she starts rubbing her hands against her thighs, a sure sign that she was nervous.

“Seriously Tobin. You-“ I look up as our classmates start filing in the doorway and lower my voice to a whisper “ You haven’t spent the night in ages, you haven’t come over for dinner, we haven’t even hung out. I’m worried about you, and I miss you.” I whisper the last part even more quietly.

Tobin looks up at me, her eyes looking sad as she silently words _I miss you too._

“Then come over tonight after school.” I beg.

_I want to, I just can’t Alex._

“Why?? What the hell is going on that you aren’t telling me??” I question her as intensely as someone can while whispering. Tobin starts to write something twice, erasing after each try before pushing over her notebook.

_I’ve got family shit that I’m having to deal with Alex._

“Why can’t you talk to me about it?? I’ll help you with anything, you know that!”

Tobin opens her mouth, but clenches it closed and rubs her hands over face in frustration that she can’t verbally communicate to me.

_You can’t help me with this Alex, I’m sorry. You and your family have already done so much for me, I’ve got to do this on my own._

“Is it something to do with your parents? Did they do something to you??” I ask but Tobin immediately shakes her head.

“Mrs. Morgan and Mrs. Heath, if you don’t both turn your attention to the front I’m going to have to separate the two of you.” Mr. Smith calls out to us, causing me to stop my investigation.

As soon as class is over, Tobin jumps out of her seat and is the first one out of the door. I try and follow just as quickly but get behind a few classmates that are slowly shuffling down the aisles. By the time I get out into the hallway, Tobin is nowhere in sight.

“God dammit.” I mutter to myself.

I feel hopeless until I spot a beacon of hope down the hallway. I rush through the packed hallway until I’m behind the figure, tapping them on the shoulder until they turn around.

“Hey Alex, what’s up?” Serv asks with a friendly smile.

“What have you and Tobin been doing the last two weeks that takes up literally ALL of her time to the point she can’t even have dinner at my house??” I question immediately with a terse expression on my face.

“Umm I have nooo idea what you’re talking about.” Serv answers confused.

“What do you mean you have no idea what I’m talking about?” I ask, my stomach dropping as I study the genuinely confused look on Serv’s face.

“The last time Tobin and I hung out one on one was like almost a month ago. I’ve been super busy with practice and my job after school, and she’s usually always with you.” He states, his eyebrows now clenched together. “I know her phone broke a few weeks ago so we haven’t been able to text… is something going on with her?? Is she ok??” He asks defensively.

“I don’t know, basically the only communication we have is during school, and even then she brushes off any question I ask her. She hasn’t been over to my house in two weeks, I don’t know what the hell is going on with her Serv.” I tell him worriedly.

“Fuck.” He mutters, rubbing his hands over his face. “Ok, she’s in my physics class in 4th period, I’ll try and get her to tell me what’s going on.”

“Thank you Serv. Here’s my number, text me when you find out anything.” I hold my phone out so he can copy my number.

“Alright, I’ll keep you updated.” He says, walking away as the warning bell rings.

…

I’m worriedly tapping away at my leg thinking about Tobin in 4th period when I feel my phone buzz in my lap. Grabbing it quickly, I slide the text open from an unknown number.

**Hey Alex, it’s Serv. Tobin isn’t in class, she didn’t show up.**

“Fuck.” I mutter out loud.

Apparently I muttered a little too loud because I hear my teacher call out my name and my classmates giggle.

“Mrs. Morgan, is there a reason for you to use that kind of vocabulary in my classroom??” My French teacher husks out in a heavy accent.

“Umm, yes. I really have to go to the bathroom.” I blurt out without even thinking.

“There are more polite ways to ask to use the lavatory, you may go Mrs. Morgan.” She snips, before turning back to the chalkboard.

While her back is turned, I slip my notebook into my backpack and sneak out the door. I rush down the hallway and out into the parking lot as quickly as I can, throwing on my jacket as I go.

“What now Alex.” I say out loud once I’m sitting in my car.

I sit in my car silently debating what to do before starting my car and putting it in drive. I pull up in front of Tobin’s trailer, carefully avoiding the big puddles throughout her yard. I go to open the door, but surprisingly find it locked. I walk around the back of the trailer and try to peak through the windows with no success. I sigh in disappointment and walk back to my car.

I decide to park on the corner of Fred’s, knowing that if Tobin is going somewhere or coming from somewhere she would have to pass me by.

30 minutes later, my stomach starts growling due to skipping lunch.

“Its not really a stakeout without food is it.” I say to myself while getting out of my car and walking into Fred’s.

I walk out a few minutes later with two bags of junk food and drinks, happily chewing on a snickers bar. With each hour that passes, I think my idea to stakeout at Fred’s is becoming a worse decision.

“20 more minutes and then I’m leaving.” I murmur to myself, checking the clock that read 3:40.

About 7 minutes later I see a figure biking down the road coming from the direction of Tobin’s house, bundled up in a jacket. My heart jumps in excitement when I notice the familiar fluorescent orange backpack on the bikers back. I wait until the figure is far down the road before I pull out of Fred’s and head in the same direction.

I drive past Tobin who is concentrating on biking alongside the busy highway with her left forearm resting on the handlebar and her right hand gripping the handle tightly. I stop several times along the way so that Tobin could catch up and I could continue to follow her. My eyebrows pull together when I realize she’s heading towards the port district. Is she going to PDX for some reason? I grow even more confused when she takes a left, heading away from PDX. Why is Tobin heading towards the marina?

I park a hundred yards or so from where I see Tobin locking her bike up against a chain fence and walk across the street to where a man is standing by a large white truck with the words **NW Fresh Fish** along the broadside of the truck. I creep closer towards the truck so that I can hear what the man is saying to Tobin. I hide behind a large crate, scrunching my nose up at the over powering smell of fish, and listen to the conversation.

“You’re 20 fucking minutes late. This truck needs to be clean in 25, because you’ve got 6 more trucks that need to be cleaned out before we can load it up with a fresh batch.” The man growls out, throwing a heavy apron at Tobin who immediately puts it on. He walks away barking more orders at someone walking down the dock, taking a drag from his cigarette as he goes.

Tobin clumsily ties her apron with her right hand before dragging a disgustingly stained garbage can and shovel towards the back end of the truck. I observe as Tobin hops into the back of the truck and begins to shovel out slime and ice from inside the truck into the trash can. A couple of times I witness Tobin leaning over and gagging, at what I am assuming is the smell. After Tobin is done scraping the slime, gunk, and melting ice out of the truck, she hops down and grabs a hose. Wrapping it around her left forearm, Tobin struggles to drag it back to the truck prior to beginning to spray out the inside of the truck. Tobin wipes away at her runny nose, no doubt due to her getting wet in the cold weather, before moving the hose out of the way.

My heart breaks as I watch Tobin’s face fall hopelessly as two more trucks pull up. She dejectedly grabs the garbage can and hauls it to the next truck, starting the process all over again. Suddenly the money that we’ve been receiving in our mailbox for the last two weeks that smell like fish make sense. My stomach clenches as I put two and two together when I realize why Tobin hasn’t been able to come over the last two weeks and how she’s probably trying to pay back my parents for her hospital bill. I take a step out from behind the crates, but ultimately stop when I realize I could make Tobin get in trouble with the asshole who seemed to be her boss.

Biting my lip, I gaze at Tobin who is currently bent over dry heaving before I tear my eyes away from the scene and walk back to my car. Even from my spot in my car, I can see Tobin’s clouds of breath coming due to her exertion of working for hours and the cold January night mixed with the cold breeze coming off of the Columbia River. I look at the dashboard of my car and note the time at 10:53. Shaking my head I turn my attention back to Tobin who is hopping out of the last truck. Tobin walks over to the burly man who then hands over a couple of bills, which Tobin immediately stuffs into her jean pocket. She takes off the apron, hanging it on a hook on the outside of the large warehouse that men were shuffling pallets of fish in and out of before slowly walking towards her bike.

Seeing my opportunity, I jump out of my car and start walking towards Tobin who is unlocking her bike. By the time Tobin has her bike unlocked and the lock wrapped around her bike and locked, I’m only about 15 yards away from her. When her eyes meet mine, her back instantly straightens and her jaw clamps down defensively.

“Tobin.” I call out softly and watch as her eyes drop to the ground and she rubs her face with her good hand.

“Tobin, why didn’t you tell me you had gotten a job?” I ask gently, closing the distance between us.

I watch as she takes out a notebook from her back pocket and writes something down. As she does this, I take in her appearance. Even in the 40 degree weather, Tobin has sweat along her hairline from shoveling for several hours, her nose is red from the cold and from rubbing it so many times, and she’s got on her thickest sweatshirt which is now covered in slime, fish scales, and some other unknown liquids.

_I didn’t want to tell you._

“Why not??” I ask and she raises her arms out to her sides and motions to the surrounding area.

_You think I’m proud to work here? This is the only place I could get work with a busted hand that didn’t require me to communicate verbally to people.”_ She shrugs while showing me the note.

“You didn’t need to get a job in the first place Tobin, my parents would get you anything that you would need!” I try to clarify to her, but Tobin shakes her head immediately.

_I can’t possibly take any more from your parents.”_

“Tobin they would get you groceries and they don’t want the money you’ve been slipping into our mailbox every day. It’s just accumulating on top of our fridge. We didn’t know where it was coming from, but now it all makes sense. Tobin, you don’t have to do this.” I explain. Tobin clenches her jaw shut to stop it from trembling, due to either the cold or her emotions, I had no idea which.

“Tobin, please. Please let someone take care of you.” I say gently, placing my hand on her cheek as tears well up in Tobin’s eyes.

“Please let me take care of you.” I whisper tearfully, stepping in close, ignoring the smell coming off of Tobin’s person. “I miss you so much, please just come home.”

A tear slips out of the corner of Tobin, and a shaky sob escapes from Tobin’s lips as she battles to control her emotions.

“Please Tobin, if you really want to repay my parents, then you can do chores for them. They wouldn’t want you working here. They would be so incredibly sad if they knew you worked here.” I tell her, trying to say anything to convince her to no longer work here.

“Would you please come back and stay with us again, please Tobin?” I request in a whisper.

Tobin nods her head while closing her eyes, causing two more streaks of hot tears to roll down her cheeks and join the snot that’s running out of her nose. She wipes her face on the inside of her sweatshirt and gives me a tearful smile that I can’t help but return.

_Can I kiss you?_

“Yes.” I chuckle out as tears roll down my own cheeks.

I don’t even care about how much of a mess Tobin looks right now, I ignore the smell of fish and the salty taste of tears as I kiss her deeply, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer, kissing her deeply.

Tobin draws apart and lays her head in the crook of my neck, her cold nose touching my neck makes me jump, but I pull her into me tightly.

“I missed you so much.” I whisper into her ear, causing Tobin to squeeze me back tightly in agreement.

“C’mon, let’s get you home.” I tell her, extending my hand out for her to take, which she does so immediately with a smile I swear could light up the darkest parts of the world.


End file.
